How to be the #1 player of all time!

DeletedUser

Guest
As the #1 player on this world I hope this helps you in you quest to reach #1 :icon_cool:

enjoy....

To be the number 1 undisputed number one player in Tribal Wars you need:

1)To be a millionaire (a billionaire or trillionaire is also perfectly acceptable) - You need to be rich so you can spend hundreds of dollars/euros/pounds on purchasing PP so you can have the most efficient account and buy off people with PP to sit you and such. The money will also come in handy as you will see in later steps...

2) Don't have a job - This will dramatically shorten the hours you will be off-line and can leave you vulnerable to attacks. However, chances are that if you've fulfilled condition 1) you can just retire from whatever job you have and focus your efforts on Tribal wars.

3) Don't have any commitments - Examples include but are not limited to: a spouse/partner of any kind, children and/or pets. Those things can distract you from what really matters; farming all day and looking after some virtual people, your precious troops.

4) Don't have a social life - Dump any friends you previously had. This won't be hard considering that if you play Tribal wars you won't have many friends in the first place. How bad would it be if a friend called over and interrupted you while your tribe was in the middle of a major war and you were supposed to be co-ordinating an attack on the enemy? Very bad indeed. Your tribe mates in-game can fill in as your new friends. I mean you probably know more about them than those friends you just dumped.

5) Keep a laptop/computer near you at all times - In fact, have one in every room of your mansion and make sure they're on 24/7. Train yourself to be an insomniac and you too can be awake 24/7. Sleep is for the weak after all. How could you sleep at night knowing that you could be the subject of a massive attack by half of the members in the enemy tribe? You couldn't. Note: If you can't train yourself to do this just drink coffe/Red Bull non-stop.

6) Hire multiple maids/butlers - You need never leave your humble abode again if you hire a few plebeians to serve you. They can get the groceries and do other menial tasks that aren't befitting of an Tribal Wars god like yourself. Just don't get crumbs on the keyboard when your food gets served to you. Note: They can't do absolutely everything for you. I don't need to point out what these are.........

7) Be an expert - You need to have a near perfect understanding of the game's battle mechanics so you can come out on top in any situation. You can gain this knowledge by trial and error, reading guides, observing battle reports and experimenting yourself.

Of course you can still be the number one player on your server without all this but all the points would help you achieve it. Hope you enjoyed my guide and it isn't too hard to follow it and do it for yourself.
 

DeletedUser

Guest
incredible! who knew it was that easy?!! gotta make a few phone calls but other than that, all I need is a cpl of million dollars!
 

DeletedUser81101

Guest
5) Keep a laptop/computer near you at all times

Having an iPad really helps, and I mean, REALLY helps!
 

DeletedUser81101

Guest
Umm .. Laptop pwns iPad imo

you can't carry an open laptop around with you wherever you go... well you can but it looks ridiculous and its difficult only using onehand (as the other is holding the laptop)

also its very convenient, one swipe of the finger and TW is hidden from onlookers :)
 

DeletedUser

Guest
lol

I see how you work at the workplace .

DITM payed $40000 salary .

Boss walks in can i have help please , quick swipe and er yh boss.

Drunk you havent been doing much in work lately , hold on am just sniping this train.

;D
 

DeletedUser81101

Guest
"Sniping what train?"

"err... the train of economic collapse..."
 

DeletedUser

Guest
you know looking back on this you can substitute #6 for bribing your siblings as well. I actually gave my younger brother 5$ to tag all of my attacks once...poor guy didn't know what he got himself into lol...needless to say though after the first time they learn are they are quite a bit harder to bribe the second time and are much more expensive :icon_razz:
 

DeletedUser

Guest
Mate your not number 1, maybe by pointwhore standerd you are but by real players i think you stand last in the line.
 

DeletedUser

Guest
you know looking back on this you can substitute #6 for bribing your siblings as well. I actually gave my younger brother 5$ to tag all of my attacks once...poor guy didn't know what he got himself into lol...needless to say though after the first time they learn are they are quite a bit harder to bribe the second time and are much more expensive :icon_razz:

lol .

Have done that before when you know what the attacks are but cba to tag em .

Get a mass tagger mark it as ram then just use it :)

Or yh pay your brother off :D
 

DeletedUser

Guest
Mate your not number 1, maybe by pointwhore standerd you are but by real players i think you stand last in the line.

really qoos...because by TW standards...which is...

http://en33.tribalwars.net/game.php?village=118637&screen=ranking&mode=player

and...

http://www.twstats.com/en33/index.php

and...

http://www.twstats.com/en33/index.php?page=player&id=4701634

strangely qoos they all say... yes... I am.

Am I # 1 in ODA...not by a long shot. :icon_sad:

Am I #1 in ODD...no... not by a long shot either.

Am I #1 in enemy conquers...as proven by you no... and as a matter in fact I'm am heavily negative...a fact that I care less about then what you think of me and the fact that you are at the top of the conquers.

You seem to expect this...
77.gif
when I'm more like
whoopdedoo.gif
.

Am I #1 in villages even...not any more :icon_razz:

Hell mate you seem to think that I think I am also the #1 most skilled player on here as well...when the truth is I don't.

However; whether anyone likes it or not I am the #1 player in the world. So as far as I'm concerned you guys can all go copulate voraciously with yourselves if you don't like it. and don't worry dear with stiker nobling like he's been for the past couple days he'll pass me in about a month...especially if he gets cracking on his building which I suspect he will what with the holidays coming along...so when that happens you guys can all go back to praising how great stiker is and I can care less as I didn't do what I did to become #1 I did it for very very different reasons. becoming #1 was (in my opinion) an unfortunate side effect.


lol .

Have done that before when you know what the attacks are but cba to tag em .

Get a mass tagger mark it as ram then just use it :)

Or yh pay your brother off :D

yeah have the mass tagger but have noticed that people expect you to do that and they just sneak in some axe. sword and LC attacks just to boost incomming #'s. that and the infamous nobles like to hide out in there as well. and with attacks ranging from 50 hours out to over 200 you can hide alot of things in there.

so it was well worth it for him to tag it for me. he tagged about 500 attacks for 5 bucks...needless to say he was pissed afterwards. he really didn't know what he got him self into :lol:
 

DeletedUser

Guest
I,m probably going to get some heat for this again but who cares there is no secret that i dislike you and pherion more then legion.

Lets check your idea of the post. Seems you want to brag? About what being #1 while the 2 of you have lost somewhere over 400 villas to the enemy, and that being only in this war. No mate your far from being #1 in ODA and more then half the ODA you guys have is because of clearing inactives because you havent really taken enemy villas so it cant be from that. Even your ODD sucks because you try and stay away from the frontline. I mean really what are you guys playing, Tribalwars or Sinmcity?

Now lets look at your history under FOX, i heard how many time that you are planning to hit IFY and how you will mess him up and even after he quit you still did JACK. I remember telling you that i will believe your BULL once i see it, sadly all i saw was IFY and the rest of Legion mess you up and you you still want to come and brag about being #1. I know players with 1 milj points that have less time and more balls then you. Personally i would rather have one of these players on my side then 20 players like you which means absolutely nothing.

I know there is a thread for this but my predictions for 2011 is you wont be around for to much longer. Why leadership still have you in this tribe is beyond me, if it was my decision you would have been nobled out by now. But i guess if you look at history you will mess up this account like you did the previous one anyway so maybe they are just playing a waiting game.
 
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DeletedUser

Guest
is qooslunchbox jowen? because he has a pretty simiair attitude from what ive seen of him....
 

baseball2009star

Guest
Quoos, you need to calm down, this wasn't meant as bragging about being number but more/less as a humorous idea. haha I chuckled at it first now ya'll are just pissing me off
 
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DeletedUser81101

Guest
well guardian has got alot more cocky since taking over a number1 account.. with no reasoning.. I completely agree with qoos on this (amazing right) :)

and tbh, original faramir was awesome, guardian.. did nothing :|, pherion... useless, was already number one so guardian cant say anything till he proves himself.. time will tell :)
 

DeletedUser

Guest
I,m probably going to get some heat for this again but who cares there is no secret that i dislike you and pherion more then legion.

Lets check your idea of the post. Seems you want to brag? About what being #1 while the 2 of you have lost somewhere over 400 villas to the enemy, and that being only in this war. No mate your far from being #1 in ODA and more then half the ODA you guys have is because of clearing inactives because you havent really taken enemy villas so it cant be from that. Even your ODD sucks because you try and stay away from the frontline. I mean really what are you guys playing, Tribalwars or Sinmcity?

Now lets look at your history under FOX, i heard how many time that you are planning to hit IFY and how you will mess him up and even after he quit you still did JACK. I remember telling you that i will believe your BULL once i see it, sadly all i saw was IFY and the rest of Legion mess you up and you you still want to come and brag about being #1. I know players with 1 milj points that have less time and more balls then you. Personally i would rather have one of these players on my side then 20 players like you which means absolutely nothing.

I know there is a thread for this but my predictions for 2011 is you wont be around for to much longer. Why leadership still have you in this tribe is beyond me, if it was my decision you would have been nobled out by now. But i guess if you look at history you will mess up this account like you did the previous one anyway so maybe they are just playing a waiting game.

Dont diss pherion and GA they best players I have ever seen . They lose villages like they are worthless . Yet are on upto 18hours a day :icon_neutral:.

These guys are the best players in tw history. Well worth rank 1 :icon_eek:

Stop your ranting noob :icon_cry:


I wish the above was true :(

@DITM , what have you done :icon_wink:

Yes this thread is meant as a joke
 
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DeletedUser

Guest
I,m probably going to get some heat for this again but who cares there is no secret that i dislike you and pherion more then legion.

Lets check your idea of the post. Seems you want to brag? About what being #1 while the 2 of you have lost somewhere over 400 villas to the enemy, and that being only in this war. No mate your far from being #1 in ODA and more then half the ODA you guys have is because of clearing inactives because you havent really taken enemy villas so it cant be from that. Even your ODD sucks because you try and stay away from the frontline. I mean really what are you guys playing, Tribalwars or Sinmcity?

Now lets look at your history under FOX, i heard how many time that you are planning to hit IFY and how you will mess him up and even after he quit you still did JACK. I remember telling you that i will believe your BULL once i see it, sadly all i saw was IFY and the rest of Legion mess you up and you you still want to come and brag about being #1. I know players with 1 milj points that have less time and more balls then you. Personally i would rather have one of these players on my side then 20 players like you which means absolutely nothing.

I know there is a thread for this but my predictions for 2011 is you wont be around for to much longer. Why leadership still have you in this tribe is beyond me, if it was my decision you would have been nobled out by now. But i guess if you look at history you will mess up this account like you did the previous one anyway so maybe they are just playing a waiting game.

This thread is meant as a joke .. Pherion is rank 1 because .. well everyone knows .. save the rant for when GA actually brags about something, I will even join you :icon_wink:
 
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