DeletedUser
Guest
This post sums up everything I would ever want to say regarding religion being a joke.
But yeah, LOL at the family. Hope he is fine though. :O
This post sums up everything I would ever want to say regarding religion being a joke.
But yeah, LOL at the family. Hope he is fine though. :O
DeletedUser99600
Guest
I reckon a bit of respect for religion wouldn't go a miss here. 
DeletedUser40113
Guest
Here is my addition to the funny messages archive
Read at your own risk :lol:
[spoil]
Read at your own risk :lol:
[spoil]
[/spoil]luwag on 27.09. at 11:58
Thank you for supporting me I appreciate it
1stphoenix on 27.09. at 12:01
anytime k mate
luwag on 27.09. at 12:02
Look, I love you. I just wanna say thanks for attacking me
1stphoenix on 27.09. at 12:04
hmmm, that depends, do you have long blonde hair, blue eyes and very large....erm.....feet?
luwag on 27.09. at 12:04
YES, YES I DO!!!!!!!
luwag on 27.09. at 12:06
I like the way you talk babe. Let me lick that honey off your...
1stphoenix on 27.09. at 12:07
Awesome, do you know a nice brunette with green eyes, olive skin, and a figure worthy of an hourglass? They are more my type
luwag on 27.09. at 12:08
Wait are you a boy... Or a lesbian?
1stphoenix on 27.09. at 12:11
Definitely not a boy
Though, in a way, I am a lesbian trapped in a males body?
Guess I love women two fold now
luwag on 27.09. at 12:12
Well I'm a big boy. Maybe we can be a gay couple?
1stphoenix on 27.09. at 12:14
*sigh* alright, put on your dress and paper bag. Il pretend your megan fox.
luwag on 27.09. at 12:16
1stphoenix on 27.09. at 12:17
sheesk, not even going to ask me out on a date first?
Typical male. tch tch tch
luwag on 27.09. at 12:18
No, I play it dirty... Rawr!
1stphoenix on 27.09. at 12:22
*sigh*
Well if your not going to ask me out on a date, im not going to put out.
luwag on 27.09. at 12:24
Oh, No! I'll ask you out and THEN we'll play dirty!!!
luwag on 27.09. at 12:24
Do you wanna go out on a date babe???
1stphoenix on 27.09. at 12:25
No.
See, I just wanted the satisfaction of saying no
luwag on 27.09. at 12:26
Oh, now do you wanna play dirty???
1stphoenix on 27.09. at 12:29
ummm? NO?
Didnt you get the hint!!!
Il pull the tazer on you!!!
luwag on 27.09. at 12:30
But babe, we make a good gay couple.
luwag on 27.09. at 12:37
PS, this is luwag's sitter.
1stphoenix on 27.09. at 13:00
um, duh? xD
About you being the sitter xD
luwag on 27.09. at 13:04
Luwag isn't this cool
1stphoenix on 27.09. at 13:11
no, he isnt, hows his acc look? A mess I am sure
DeletedUser
Guest
I think I can guess which of that was, lol. Wait... Nevermind, could be any of like 5.
DeletedUser
Guest
0.o
Both weird and amusing.
Both weird and amusing.
DeletedUser
Guest
I reckon a bit of respect for religion wouldn't go a miss here.
The second people keep their beliefs to themselves and dont impose it onto others (as in this case) will be when I shall start doing that, In the meantime I will give this form of slavery the amount of respect it deserves
DeletedUser99600
Guest
I think believing that individuals define a religion is a little, shall we say, arrogant?
No matter how I found that mail amusing, I still think it's unacceptable to disrespect religion like that.
No matter how I found that mail amusing, I still think it's unacceptable to disrespect religion like that.
DeletedUser
Guest
What does define a religion if it is not the way that individuals chose to act based upon their beliefs? You are welcome to your beliefs, and I am welcome to mine (or do you want to start telling me how I should think as well)
I'm quitting now before the banhammer appears
DeletedUser
Guest
I'm just going to point out momentarily that this talk about religion is definitely off-topic. Stop it, and there won't be punishment. Continue it, and there will .
.oheinen66
Guest
Its more a discussion on a funny mail, which is ontopic?
DeletedUser
Guest
So you're telling me:
"What does define a religion if it is not the way that individuals chose to act based upon their beliefs? You are welcome to your beliefs, and I am welcome to mine (or do you want to start telling me how I should think as well)"
Was discussing the mail, and not beliefs on religion? I'm not sure how you think that. Even the poster, Glynjack, said he was going to stop "Before the banhammer appears", because he knew it was off-topic.
Further concerns? PM me. The forums are not the place to discuss that.
"What does define a religion if it is not the way that individuals chose to act based upon their beliefs? You are welcome to your beliefs, and I am welcome to mine (or do you want to start telling me how I should think as well)"
Was discussing the mail, and not beliefs on religion? I'm not sure how you think that. Even the poster, Glynjack, said he was going to stop "Before the banhammer appears", because he knew it was off-topic.
Further concerns? PM me. The forums are not the place to discuss that.
DeletedUser
Guest
DeletedUser
Guest
apologies, seems oheinen never went to ask me. I did write a response to noser via his gmail, but it is not funny and personal, so best not shared.
DeletedUser
Guest
DeletedUser
Guest
Fair enough.
Send him regards from someone he has never met (IE ME) and I hope he bodes well in a den of intolerant zealots.
DeletedUser
Guest
Just something interesting. Be warned, wall of text :icon_biggrin:
[spoil]
[spoil]
[/spoil]Sticky today at 02:07
Greetings Plikuscht.
My name is sticky, I am a very nice man. I heard from a reliable source that you're looking for a partner to go through in life with? Miss, if I may say, I make a very large income and I have a very stable job. So if you would like, we can meet up and get to know each other.
Please reply back soon,
Sincerely
Sticky
Plikuscht today at 02:09
What the hellllllll haha. Snickers (chuckle)
Sticky today at 02:14
I'm making a very serious proposal miss. This is a life-altering decision, and I am not a person who does this without thinking this through. I am offering you a chance to meet with me, and talk. If we like each other, we can see more of each other, and we can start thinking about our future.
Sincerely,
Sticky
Plikuscht today at 03:07
bone meh
Sticky today at 03:15
Young lady! Don't you dare speak such savage words. This is not proper conduct for a young lady such as yourself. Please reconsider the language that you're using. It is improper talk for someone of your standards.
Sincerely,
Sticky
Plikuscht today at 03:16
Im not a lady
Sticky today at 03:29
Miss! Please don't start going into denial like all the rest of them! Please! You are such a fine young lady, and it'd be a waste for you to deny that fact! I implore you, don't start that stage yet!
Sincerely,
Sticky
Plikuscht today at 03:33
(facepalm)
Sticky today at 03:39
Madam, please. This is your last chance. Please retract your statement, else this world is doomed for annihilation. Let me tell you my story.
My name is Sticky Kid, I come from a future where a plague called "Stickiness" ravages the surface of the world. The disease was caused by an infection originating from the extract of one person, yourself. It was developed from the denial you had about your real gender.
I was sent back in time after a long war against this disease, which has killed about 94% of the population of both plants, and animals in the world including the human race. It led to severe underpopulation and a slowly dying planet. Our lead scientists could only discover a point of origin before our base was run over by the disease, and could only create one capsule to send me back in time to save it the world from that which is "Stickiness".
So please miss, I implore you. Don't deny your fate in being a woman. Embrace it! This is the last hope our planet, our race has.
Sincerely,
Sticky
Plikuscht today at 03:44
I'm afraid you must be looking for my creator, for I am nothing more than an android designed after my creators own image. She died some 24 hours prior to this, and odd that you mention a disease, because not long after, her dog was stricken by an odd cement-like excretion that stuck him to the floor until he suffocated.
Sticky today at 03:57
DAMN! I'm afraid I'm too late then. The world has failed again, and now, the only hope would be me surviving again until the end of the world, and doing it again - traveling through time and warning everyone before it is too late.
Now, the stickiness will spread by both, land, air, and space. It spreads fast because the bacterium that makes up the stickiness divide so fast after it sticks on something, and it floats as well, making sticky clouds. The sticky clouds start to grow, and grow, and after a point it rains down sticky particles, which is just another form for the stickiness to spread in.
The only solution that can dissolve the stickiness is call - "SEMEN". Super Extrodinary Men's Excreting Nutrients. This solvent is low in supply, and our source of it, men, can only produce so much a day. With much of the human race dying everyday, we can't possibly produce enough to fight back this "stickiness" disease.
Android, I'm afraid that even you will not be able to defend yourself from the disease. You will also succumb to the "stickiness" and die as well, just like the rest of us. I commend you for doing a good job in passing your creator's message. I truly commend you in doing it. Please have a happy life, with what you have left.
Sincerely,
Sticky
Plikuscht today at 04:01
You do not quite understand the full story though. My creator, a female, was unable to create the cure, said "SEMEN." However, some 30 years prior to this as a child, my creator was visited by a man from the future named Tomithy. This young man urged her to admit her maleness, and assist in the creation of more SEMEN. Unfortunately, Tomithy was misinformed. However knowing the end was near, my creator designed me, and spent 25 years building me. I possess a secret. Bring me organic matter, and I can create an infinite supply of SEMEN.
Sticky today at 04:09
If that was true, then my future would have never happened! My future would have been a bright, peaceful future full of war, poverty, politicians whining like children, and many other things. This can not possibly be true. Admitting maleness will never solve anything, admitting her female side would have solved all!
This will not work out, SEMEN can only be made naturally from the human body, it will not work if made by any other means. There are chemicals inside the body that science will never be able to replicate. Your creator, also, was misinformed by this "Tomithy" person.
Sincerely,
Sticky
Plikuscht today at 04:31
You are incorrect my friend. I tested the serum on my creators cat once it was stricken. There were mild side effects, but the cat is still alive and well. I am an android, but not robotic. If I were merely a robot, the issue of my creation would have been simple, and short lived. It took 25 years because my body had to be grown, and augmented with robotics (in order to have the ability to create infinite SEMEN.) The reason your future was not saved is simple; when Tomithy came back in time, it created a paradigm that split the space time continuum, thus creating a paradox in time, splitting my world apart for yours. While yours suffered imminent doom, mine was thrust off trajectory into "dark time", an area previously not in existence, with no ties to anything that is known. You coming back has jeopardized that continuum, as time and space have once again split into two part. We are merely on one limb of this dimension, the others are still in peril; all because your government would not trust your predecessor.
Sticky today at 04:48
That defies all that have been known in the continuity. This is not one of those stories that is made up in fairy tales, this is reality. Reality must be made with realistic solutions. The solution would have been simple, your creator would have only had to admit their feminine origins for the solution to come.
Your reasonings were also with loopholes. The split was to occur 25 years ago, with the introduction of tomithy. BUT, I came 25 years after the inception of tomithy, so it is still in my timeline. That loophole thusly proves that you are telling a lie, and are trying to prevent me from completing my mission.
WHO ARE YOU?! WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME COMPROMISE MY MISSION?!
Sincerely,
Sticky
Plikuscht today at 04:51
No you do not understand entirely, of course I cannot pretend I understand entirely either. This timeline we are in is either a break off of the one tomithy was in, or a break off of your perceived reality, but its essence is neither. We will not endure the stickiness, but I fear that the universe will not look kindly upon our time weaving here. Time could split at anytime, and rip us all into pieces. Your mission was to save earth, but now you must forgo that mission and save the UNIVERSE my friend. This is bigger than humanity at this point.
Sticky today at 04:57
See, you really don't understand! This is entirely madness! From what I pick up, this timeline should not even have happened. It sounds fabricated even from the core of your explanation. This is pure craziness, how can this be true?
The earth? The universe? I am not here to save the earth or the universe, I am here to save all the organisms in existence from the stickiness. Whatever happens after the stickiness disappears is of no consequence to me.
Sincerely,
Sticky
Plikuscht today at 05:01
In your noble attempts to preserve life, you have doomed my reality, and unless you find a way back to your timeline with a cure, you will ultimately see the end of all life, via stickiness, and a rip in time. I apologize, I understand this is above your mere human mind (My programming is in fact connected to the largest super computer in existence. I run 2 billion calculations a second.) I understand things humanity cannot, but I was built to protect it, and I will, whether you are with me or now. Though you could prove to be an invaluable asset to the cause.
Sticky today at 05:09
Doomed? It was you who have doomed yourselves. The stickiness was a manifestation of your creator's underlying thoughts that denied her own existence as a woman. She had a trauma when she was young that she never recovered from.
Your creator had been abused since young by her "owners". She was exposed to a multitude of both physical and mental abuse. She was raped, tortured, and defiled in all sense of the words. I shall leave the details to your imagination, but everything applies in this case. She was abused for one simple reason - she was a woman.
To be a woman, is it such a sin? Is it such a sin that would give people a reason to torture a child so? This goes to the very core of human morals, what defines a human.
Sincerely,
Sticky
Plikuscht today at 05:15
You have delved into a subject that has no scientific merit, and thus cannot be processed by my computer systems. I, however, have no way to bring my creator back to life, and thus no blame can be placed on me for your mistake. If you shall not help me correct your mistake, there is nothing that can be done now, and I clean my hands of this situation. Should you wish to help me restore the time paradigm, and then find a way back to your own timeline, I will be right here *click*
**the android body, previously animated, now drops lifelessly to the floor. A distant buzz is heard as the computer servers retract their control over the body**
Sticky today at 05:51
So this is how it ends? Hardly what I had expected the computer to respond. Such a shallow computer, who can not even begin to respond to me in such a way as you did....
She had brilliant eyes. Eyes that shone bright within the darkness of the orphanage from whence I came. She was the caretaker of that orphanage after the previous one had succumb to the stickiness. She was taking care of us, all of us whose entire families succumbed to the disease.
She was kind, beautiful. The one that everyone came to for help of any kind in the small settlement we lived in underground. She was perfect. I was a child back then, merely 13 years of age, in simple adolescence. She was a sparkle, a gem. Simply amazing in my own eyes. She belonged to everyone, so I never revealed my feelings.
Her wish, her only wish, was for a peaceful world without the "stickiness". Everyone wanted to help her achieve that, but there was no way for us too. This was always at the back of everyone's mind. It was always there.
Years after, at my coming of age ceremony at age 17, she succumbed to the "stickiness". No one say it coming, everyone was agonized at the fact. She wanted to feel the sun, the wind for one last time before she finally died from the stickiness. We sent her up top into the surface while taking all precautions, masks, not touching her, everything.
After we got up there, we saw a sight. A horrid sight. The world was dark, damp. The sun was covered by a clouds of "stickiness" the breeze was not there, since no life existed in the area anymore. It was a sad, lonely world.
She took a look at the world beyond and looked at peace. "My beautiful earth" she commented. The stickiness overtook her at that moment. Myself, and the others who were with me just stared at the scene. It was beautiful, yet sad at the same time. We were happy that she had left us in such glory, a glory befitting someone like her, but deep down, we felt anger, resentment, both at ourselves and the "stickiness". We all said our farewells to her, to Sara....
After, I took on a journey to find a way to stop the stickiness. There, the journey led me to the remnants of the world government, and there, we made our final stand against the stickiness. We failed, and that's what led me here, to this time, to prevent the stickiness from appearing in the first place.
*looks back at the android body*
Why is this android in such resemblance to her? Why? Was she only an android all the time, was she just a fabrication of my imagination? I do not know.
Now I look at my hands, aged from all the years of living in a stickiness infected world. So weary, so tired from all the sadness revolving around the stickiness.
*approaches the machine*
Hmph. It seems I still have it in me. Let us see where this takes us. Whether it be the world that she envisioned, or a demented hell, let us take this risk.
*turns on machine*
Greetings, let us get started on our mission.
Plikuscht today at 06:25
Slowly I woke, my eyes shifting back, and forth across the white panorama before me. Nothing lay before, but a white expanse. No landscape; nothing. As my eyes scoured the stark white, my mind fumbled with memories. Childhood with my savior, my precious Sara. Teenage years when she became infected, and closed herself off in self-quarantine, speaking to us only through an intercom. Young adulthood when she finally succumbed to the disease, decaying quickly into a mere puddle of hazy red goo.
Tears came to my eyes as my memory caught up to my present situation. My memories, archived in this mortal brain, stumbled over one another as they rushed forward. Chronology took a backseat. And then it struck me.
Alongside my organic memories lay others. Memories I could not possibly have. The creation of the the planet earth. The point in the time space continuum when the disease stickiness was evolved to the point that is is today. And, something more. Something that my mortal brain could not comprehend. Something... Larger.
A strong electrical shock woke me from my sleep, the white universe that my mind pondered seconds before, vanished in a blue streak, replaced by a system reboot message scrolling across my HUD. My mind raced, and while I know the shock of these events should cause my heart to beat loudly, I could not feel it at all. My eyes opened. Or thats the closest thing I can describe it as, it is more as if... They turned on.
Nothing made sense in those few moments. My body was numb, my heart was dead, but my mind was alive. More alive than I ever remembered it being. The few memories I had in the Fade (the alternate universe between the timelines, where there is nothing) became jumbled yet again, but this time among a a huge influx of files and calculations, a memory bank so large that my mind could not even begin to comprehend it. But then, it did. My mind cleared all at once, all the files, memories, computations; they all took order and organized themselves in an accessible way. And then I heard it. The Voice.
Sticky, it said, you are welcome.
My eyes shot open. I ran my eyes over the room I had passed out in. And had the shock of my life.
Laying before me... Was me. My body, slumped over on the floor, not moving... Not breathing.
You must be confused Sticky. Allow me to explain.
Frantically I turned myself around. I could feel machinery in my bones, nano bots in my blood. And the SEMEN producer. Slowly it dawned on me, the Voice. It was in my head. It WAS me.
Sticky... Andy... Allow me to explain. I had no choice, our universes have collided. This was never her plan, all she wanted was to protect you. It was my programming to do so, and I must follow that no matter what happens. Because of such, I have absorbed your mind into my data bank, and have allotted you my body.
Shock over took me. The Voice kept speaking, but I did not listen. I knew I would remember it later anyway. I knew I could not forget anything now, no matter how hard I tried to repress the memories.
I stood, and tested the new body. I felt the Voice pull away slightly, giving my mind room to function properly on its own. The files and calculations all fell away, like a floppy disc being removed from a computer; I no longer had access to them. But I knew I could the moment I asked.
You are right, you have access to them the moment you want. And yes, we share this body now. And this databank, everything you think or feel, I have access to. And vice versa.
It was at this point that I realized everything the Voice has said earlier, while I still had my own body, was true. The universe was spiraling out of control now....
And then I felt something more. Something that scared me, but also relieved me in a sickly way. My new body was slower than it should be. It was groggy, overused and old feeling. These were the signs of stickiness. That is when I knew for sure that the Voice was working for humanities benefit, and not its own. If it wanted only to survive, it would be working towards my prior goals. But not, it was willing to sacrifice its own body, its own source of movement and freedom, in order to save humanity.
That is right young one. And there is more.
Suddenly the databank reemerged. Memories once again flooded my mind. A different planet. A different species. The same stickiness, taking over and ripping organic matter to pieces. Then a barren world, covered in thick red clouds. Temperature readings read -300C, even though the planet was about the distance from its orbital star as earth was, it was inside the "lifezone". The more memories, a hundred- no, a thousand, different worlds, all succumbing to the same sickness.
I have seen this before young one. Before now, all I could do was observe, as I could not move on my own. When your Sara found me, she gave me hope to save this planet. She gave me a body, a soul, and a purpose. Before now I was merely a supercomputer running across an interweb of galactic computer systems, always able to flee to another hub of civilization via the Wire. But now, I can help...
DeletedUser
Guest
Aww yeaaa! Now thats some funny shtuff :icon_cool:
DeletedUser
Guest
Copletely. Awesome.
DeletedUser101876
Guest
[spoil]
:icon_wink:
[/spoil]Author said:AnniM today at 17:39
I don't feel so chatty today..My troops decided they like it more at your place than mine
FijiLoki today at 17:53
Must be because of the party we got going here. There's thousands of people over here!
I think they're a little territorial though
AnniM today at 18:10
I noticed that. Thats why i might send over some of my men too. They need a vacation
FijiLoki today at 18:15
I spoke with my men and the general consensus was that your men shall not be allowed within the walls. Apparently they smell of mountain dew and Ritalin. They will be sent to the hounds.
AnniM today at 18:19
Drop the bodies to the group graveyard. They will have a good time there with the other dead men. They can make a party there too.
FijiLoki today at 18:25
Will do!
The hound called Mittens has requested he eat a couple of them. Would this be alright as well?
:icon_wink:
DeletedUser
Guest
And now we know what W2V members do in their spare time... 0.o
