A Piratic Christmas tale!

Kachine

Guest
Ahoy w40,

It 'ave been a very rough storm that been goin on fer a lil o'er half a year in da western waters. Sadly da pirate ship begin t' loose shivers o' timber here and thar, a mast fell, and da anchor swang loose droppin a few good men into da ragin sea!

Da few that survived da storm, been busy cleanin up deck, pickin da pieces o' ol' mates and kickin da floor in wrath o' traitors. As da mad crew on board da now ghost ship partied through da night o' 23rd o' da holiday month a jingle and bingle sound filled da air, a creepin voice yelled out Yo Ho Yo Ho!!!

In confusion and fright, we searched da skies, looked beyond da horizon, checked da now abandoned barrel o' punishment, but nay source o' da resonance been a spotted!

It repeated again and again as da jingles increase in volume and pace "Yo Ho Yo Ho!!! Ye filthy rabble!!!"

And then, outta da mists o' da shiverin wind and icy ocean, we saw in disbelief 6 giant parrots pullin behind'em a huge treasure chest, and inside't sits a crazy ol' geezer, with a hook fer a hand, and an elfy wench fer company! "Yo Ho Ho!!!" he yelled again! as he lands with his chest on board our skeletoned ship!


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Not knowin his purpose or his character, da crew stood with empty faces, a long moment o' silence fell upon da atmosphere, a silence broken by salty's hiccups!

Da ol' scallywag began t' chatter: "What wrong with ye, ye rascals?! Do ye nay know me?!" ... da pirates looked into each othars faces and then turned t' da geezer in a shakin nay!

Da geezer reached his hand into his large bag and slowly pulled out da pirates most valuable treasure!


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Da decks became slippery o' drool as da hypnotized pirates reach'em hands out like zombies seekin brains, da ol' geezer in panic and fear repeats: "Wait... stay back... hang on!!! AAAAHHH!!!" in matters o' seconds da pirates o'erwhelmed da poor scurvydog as his wench stood witnessin da horrific sight! a gunshot pierced through a rotted mast, da zombified pirates turned'em backs t' see an enraged capn with fire in his eyes: "How dare thee drink this rum?! it should be saved fer dark days t' come!!!", saved by da capn, da geezer stands tall once mo' and conveys a relievin news: "capn rumoholic! do not act so cruel! thar be mo' than 'nough fer da entire crew!"

And so with da jingle bingle and a piratic balad da pirates, geezer and his elfy wench drank through da night, unto da dawn, past da noon, beyond da fallin sun, and round again through 'nother night!


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And as da midnight clock dings and dongs, da ol' drunken bastard stands up and says: "Merry Christmas ye ugly maggots! And Happy pilferin Year!!!", Da cheerful face o' da elf lubber gotten shattered into shards by da sight o' his elfy wench on hater's lap... ye must admit, even da elf mistress o' Santa can nay resist a piratic charm!

And so with that dreadful sight on mind, da geezer headed t'wards his parrot chest slid in intention t' leave deck or grab a gun, one can nay tell fer sure! But da capn had othar plans! those parrots can feed da crew fer months t' come, and that chest can hold da bunch o' booty in plan fer da comin year, and so, with a single shout, da crew siezes da chest, slay da parrots, and maroon da bastard into da cold waters below!

Da elfy wench breaks into tears, tears o' joy as she given a slice o' meat and a jug o' rum t' ease da swallow! that geezer musta been a crooked cheap bastard in disguise! as everyone knows santa died hundreds o' years ago, he nevarrr drove a parrot motored chest slid, and had nay wish t' commercialize a holy day.

And so a just punishment t' 'nother bastard o' da magical waters o' da 40th world!

Merry Christmas tae ye foes and friends a like! let nay ferget what this day be really 'bout

Cheers,

Cap'n Rumoholic D. Luka
 

The Last Fight

Guest
Here you go Kachine, Marry Xmas



oh, I forgot this..

 
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The Last Fight

Guest
while handing out sum xmas gifts to pirates, might as well give something fitting to the KataklysmiC fellas..

 

The Last Fight

Guest
..couldn`t find anything in the stores suiting NMS, so this one is homemade

 

The Last Fight

Guest
and to the rest of the world



Some ammo. You may need it
 

Kachine

Guest
thank ye last fight, that rum had a special spice to't!!!!

as fer NMS (RQ), ye should shop in pirate malls, we got what a resident evil boss zombie would dream o'!!!!


 

Kachine

Guest
rum always been in me system... da doctors thought me mom be a severe alcoholic when she conceived me

ppl get drunk in weekends, me get sober....
 

Kachine

Guest
alcoholic? ye mean addicted t' alcohol? well ye can put't that way, but't mo' that alcohol be addicted t' me
 

NeaZ

Guest
To help with ya Christmas cheer try a mix of good cyder, a squirt of ginger cordial, a couple o' 3 cloves and lashings of yer finset rum.... Place in a cauldron, set upon a fire and stir till hot.... Then serve.

May yer legs stay steady and yer wenches still look hot in da mormin'

Oh and a Happy New Year.....
 

Lyonene1

Guest
I see that you had a wonderful Christmas :)

Happy Holidays Kachine, from Nemisis and Casus Belli


 

ashir45

Guest
Wishing an enemy happy holidays? Looks like lyonene had to much rum ;)
 

Kachine

Guest
we mo' friends than enemies actually... matters not, just a game and it shows good sportsmanship, besides if'n ye re-read me post ye'll see she aint da first to wish an enemy good holidays
 

Phoenix2050

Guest
Thanks for the smexy pic Lyonene - I'm sure that more than RUM members would enjoy that, although my female members have been complaining of a lack of eye-candy, so in the interests of fairness perhaps this will help:

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