Funny in-game messages

[DeletedUser]

Antstar10 Fails Again.

antstar10 on 09.01. at 20:47
Can i join your tribe please, i am very active. Message me back please when you get this. Btw i havent attacked anyone of your members because you might think i have cause i am in grey wolfs at the momant

i killed a bird on 09.01. at 20:50
my apologies. recruitment is closed

antstar10 today at 20:18
Why not?

i killed a bird today at 20:20
You have to send me cookies first.

Yours,
General Psychopath

antstar10 today at 20:26
What do you mean by cookies?

i killed a bird today at 20:30
you don't know about the tribal wars cookies? its in your marketplace. send me 500 of them and i will consider inviting you to my tribe. i was the one who suspended recruiting after all. not even my co-player is allowed to invite people.

Yours,
General Psychopath

antstar10 today at 20:34
No i did not know about cookies, so how do i send them??

i killed a bird today at 20:39
You need to go to your market. If its activated you'll see them just under your resources. I don't need your resources I have enough of them. Just send me 500 cookies and the invite is yours mate.

Yours,
General Psychopath

antstar10 today at 20:40
Ok ill try now.

antstar10 today at 20:41
Can you do it please, im not sure what your talking about lol. i can send you a sitting thing then you do it

i killed a bird today at 20:44
I'm sorry an account sitter cannot send cookies. only the account owner. don't you see it there? a command dialog box just under the resources listed in your market?

Yours,
General Psychopath

antstar10 today at 20:48
The thing to send wood clay and iron??

i killed a bird today at 20:49
No, below that. There's another box that says 'cookie command'. Is it there?

Yours,
General Psychopath

antstar10 today at 20:50
No there isnt

i killed a bird today at 20:51
Well you need to activate it in your settings silly. Didn't you think of that?

Yours,
General Psychopath

antstar10 today at 20:54
what do i do to activate it?

i killed a bird today at 20:59
You need to go on settings> profile. at the bottom of the page there's a link that says 'activate cookie command'

Yours,
General Psychopath

antstar10 today at 21:07
It doesnt have it on there, ive looked all over :\

i killed a bird today at 21:11
hmm you have a premium account mate? You need a full fledged premium account to activate cookies. not the free premium that TW gives you sometimes. Its got to be the one that you purchase.

Yours,
General Psychopath

antstar10 today at 21:12
Oh, no i dont have premium

i killed a bird today at 21:14
damn hmm then there's one other way for me to get cookies. i gotta send my pwonies at you to gather some. let me send them.

Yours,
General Psychopath

antstar10 today at 21:15
So what do i do when you send them?

i killed a bird today at 21:17
You just have to hope that there's cookies at your gate mate. My pwonies will gather them up.

Yours,
General Psychopath

antstar10 today at 21:19
Oh i see. what can you get with cookies anyway?

i killed a bird today at 21:22
Oh there just to feed my pweddy pwink pwanda pwincess. She's always hungry and i don't seem to have enough cookies :'(

Yours,
General Psychopath

antstar10 today at 21:23
a what? lol

i killed a bird today at 21:28
My pweddy pwink pwanda pwincess she's really mean. and she likes to beat up people that aren't nice. See those are her pwonies headed your way ,mate.

Yours,
General Psychopath

antstar10 today at 21:30
lol is this made up or real??

i killed a bird today at 21:33
Made up you noob. gee now you have an incoming attack and you thought my ponies were coming for cookies? lol have fun repairing your village lol.

Yours,
General Psychopath

 

[DeletedUser]

lol that's a good IGM!

 

[DeletedUser]

This is to the duke of ~BOFM~. It was really a test to see how bad a player he was willing to recruit in order to get points......


WARNING: No noobs were harmed in the making of this mail

ImTheViper on 10.01. at 09:22
I really appreciate you sending me an invite and of course I will join your tribe immediately!

Despite the fact I don't know anything about your tribe, or you, or your leader, or your diplomacy, or why you want me or, well anything?

So I lied, I'm not going to bloody join, write a mail you dirty mass recruiter.

P.s. I lied I know some of your diplomacy I know your getting your asses kicked by [ally]Party![/ally].

cooldoh on 10.01. at 12:47
I am the leader, Allies
BOSS
FANG
SCAR
BOSS-N
U.T.R
~AAFM~

Non-Aggression-Pact (NAP)
none
Enemies
Party!

Why I want you is cause u are good...

ImTheViper on 10.01. at 17:13
How do you know I'm good?

cooldoh on 10.01. at 19:12
ur od....

ImTheViper on 10.01. at 19:41
Whats that?

cooldoh on 10.01. at 20:45
Offense defense rank: how many troops u have killed either o or d... Urs is 7k

ImTheViper on 10.01. at 21:02
oww no can other people see my attacks that i send? i thoguht the grey kingdoms couldnt fite back

cooldoh on 10.01. at 23:31
nope.... itt just shows how many troops u have defeated

ImTheViper on 10.01. at 23:47
where can i find it? do i need to use a fake script?

cooldoh on 10.01. at 23:49
click on ranking->Opponents Defeated->choose offense defense or total

cooldoh on 11.01. at 01:02
can u join my tribe now that i explained why i wanted u

ImTheViper on 11.01. at 01:04
Ok but can you explain the church? Someone in my tribe said you have to pay resources every sunday for your troops to fite better but I think he was lying to me. Also can you change it to a mosque as i find it very offensive

cooldoh on 11.01. at 01:05
nope u cant change it... all the church does is if u fight withen its radius ur troops are stronger

ImTheViper on 11.01. at 01:07
Wait first I need to ask questions to see if your tribe is good. you could be getting all this information from a tribal wars forum or cheat site

I need to know if uses can do the tricky stuff

cooldoh on 11.01. at 01:08
what?

cooldoh on 11.01. at 01:12
what were u saying i dont understand...

ImTheViper on 11.01. at 01:14
what is the fastest train you can send?
what is the fastest train you have seen?
whats the most common type of nuke comprise of?
how many villages a day do you farm?
whos the best farmer you've ever seen?
what are family tribes?
and
how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

cooldoh on 11.01. at 01:17
.5 seconds apart
.1 second apart
axes and lc
too many too count
Well we have a brother tribe so i think i know what it is
[ally]~AAFM~[/ally]
Alot of wood

cooldoh on 11.01. at 01:20
whoops i forgot one best farmer idk

cooldoh on 11.01. at 01:23
... are u gonna join now???

ImTheViper on 11.01. at 01:44
Wow your tribe is really good my trains are normally 15 seconds apart but the village has to be close. I thought you were suppose to have spears in nukes. i love family tribes

The last answer was wrong by the way >

ImTheViper on 11.01. at 01:44
the best farmer is old macdonald

cooldoh on 11.01. at 02:41
lol i didnt no

cooldoh on 11.01. at 02:46
well since u think my tribe is good r u gonna join?

ImTheViper on 11.01. at 17:59
I dont know are your players nice?

cooldoh on 11.01. at 20:22
yes...

cooldoh on 11.01. at 20:24
acatually u will find out we are very nice as u join.... didnt u notice yet i have helped u so much and u r a complete stranger to me...

ImTheViper on 11.01. at 20:46
how did you help me, is that you whos sending support

cooldoh on 11.01. at 21:19
with all this info on od and such

cooldoh on 11.01. at 21:19
and yes i was supporting u

cooldoh on 11.01. at 21:23
and will if u need it

ImTheViper on 11.01. at 21:32
The white horse keep on attacking my village but i built lots of troops and i still cant kill them, they must be the best troops so im building 500 of them. how many spears or swords do i need to kill a white horse?

cooldoh on 11.01. at 21:33
scouts can only be killed by scouts....

cooldoh on 11.01. at 21:37
white horses can only be killed by white horses...

ImTheViper on 11.01. at 21:38
ok ill keep building the white horses to attack other people with >

cooldoh on 11.01. at 23:56
all they do is gather info tho...

but can u jion mu tribe now... come on

ImTheViper today at 00:08
no wait i need to wait for my tribe, they are going to make an important announcement really soon. What do you mean they only gather info? i thought they were the best soldiers in the game....they are really hard to kill

cooldoh today at 00:38
they are scouts they are worthless except for when u are planning to attack someone stronger than u... than u figure out their troop count how much sources they have and their buildings levels

ImTheViper today at 00:39
ok how many do i need then 1000 or 2000?

ImTheViper today at 00:53
there is something major happening in my tribe now

cooldoh today at 01:41
whats happening in ur tribe

ImTheViper today at 01:52
were having an uprising, once we are in control you can join

cooldoh today at 03:22
no u r supposed to join my tribe!!

thats why i have invited u i am the leader of my tribe [ally]~BOFM~[/ally] we r rank 4 in this k and rank 50 in this world it would be smart for u to join immediately

ImTheViper today at 13:58
Ok

Ill join your tribe then

ImTheViper today at 14:04
My leader said im not allowed join your tribe. Why is this?

cooldoh today at 16:25
just join pls come on we r alot stronger ur leader wont mind

ImTheViper today at 17:08
Ok send me the invite

cooldoh today at 17:09
done pls join now thxx

ImTheViper today at 17:10
Ok then send

ImTheViper today at 17:21
Send the invite

cooldoh today at 18:08
U have to leave ur tribe first then u can accpt i already sent it

ImTheViper today at 18:11
Ok send it then

cooldoh today at 19:16
I DID LEAVE UR TRIBE -> CLICK TRIBE THEN ACCEPT THE INVITE

cooldoh today at 21:13
I did, Leave your tribe -> Click Tribe-> accept the invite

ImTheViper today at 21:35
I left my tribe but there is still no invite

cooldoh today at 21:36
u didnt leave....

cooldoh today at 21:36
i sent it again ok...

cooldoh today at 21:37
leave your tribe -> go to your reports -> accept the invite

cooldoh today at 21:40
set me as ur acct sitter i will do it for u

cooldoh today at 21:44
settings -> account sitting -> sitter: cooldoh

ImTheViper today at 21:47
Are you sure I should join, what if your tribes opinions on morality, ethics, social and other important personal issues differs from my own? Could you, scratch that, can you work with someone who believes drug use can be classed as recreational and ''soft'' whereas you believe it is a new plague upon mankind. Like what if I arrive and theres a communist in your tribe? Or even worse a extreme capitalist? Yuck, phewy, I really need to see the inner soul of your tribe.

cooldoh today at 21:48
well if u join u will find out this conversation has gone on for 13 pgs lol just join already

ImTheViper today at 21:51
On which topic in particular?

cooldoh today at 21:56
u joining

ImTheViper today at 22:03
No I don't really want to. To be honest I never really did. You just make such a good arguement I felt as though I couldn't say no, I was hypnotized.

cooldoh today at 22:04
so u dont want to join ur saying i discussed with u for 13 pages and u are not gonna join

ImTheViper today at 22:13
Well you know what they say....

cooldoh today at 22:14
what sense does it make to stay in your tribe they are not even in k43

ImTheViper today at 22:17
Yes they are

cooldoh today at 22:18
only 9 of them 50 of us are in k43!!!

ImTheViper today at 22:22

what sense does it make to stay in your tribe they are not even in k43

only 9 of them

Are we in our out? I don't like standing under doorframes :'(

cooldoh today at 22:24
ok ur tribe is defintly in k43 but 9 of them out of 45 members i see no consistency their sorry to say

as my tribe has 50 members in k43 out of 60 members
i see alot of consistency their truthfully

ImTheViper today at 22:28
So wait what your telling me is if a tribe has 2 members and they are, say 100 hours away by spear to each other, that that tribe is better than the tribe with 2 members that has 2 players, 5 hours away by spears, on either side of a k border?

You sir are an idiot

cooldoh today at 22:30
well i looked at ur whole tribe on the map and none of uare 5 hours away from aspear and u call me an idiot but my tribe is all about 40 mins away

cooldoh today at 22:33
none of u are even 5 ours apart i meant sorry

ImTheViper today at 22:38
I don't want any 40 mins away. I want to farm without competition and grow faster. Not hug over a candle lit dinner beside your level 30 mines.


By the way you clearly are an idiot because you don't understand what an example is. I was challenging you that good tribes don't need to be limited to 1 k. How the hell do they conquer the world then? And then you say,

well i looked at ur whole tribe on the map and none of uare 5 hours away from aspear

Well done on pointing out the bloody obvious but you missed the fact that theres more than 2 players in my tribe

that that tribe is better than the tribe with 2 members that has 2 players, 5 hours away by spears, on either side of a k border?

Clearly this wasn't through to real life and it was an example to try and show you my point but you take small points completely out of context. They are so far out of context people in Hong Kong are looking up saying ''Is it a bird, is it a prane?'' No its my out of context point.

cooldoh today at 22:40
you know this isnt getting anywhere the point was to get u to join my tribe but I seemed to fail... Good day

ImTheViper today at 22:44
Mwah....when can I join?

cooldoh today at 22:45
now the invite is still up

ImTheViper today at 22:46
*facepalm

 

[DeletedUser95714]

Quote:rx135 on 15.12. at 19:55
i invited you and all of your tribe member please join us. your tribe member and ours and not far from each other. i hope you will consider this invitation

el dawson8r on 15.12. at 20:11
.

rx135 on 15.12. at 20:14
ya i understood what you mean.
but its not a bad idea
i hope you will think over it again.

Sometimes a dot says it all lol.

Not read this for a month, had me in fits of giggles all over again

 

[DeletedUser]

Dowler93 This is to the duke of ~BOFM~. It was really a test to see how bad a player he was willing to recruit in order to get points......


WARNING: No noobs were harmed in the making of this mail

Are you sure about that? I laughed for hours :lol:

 

[STAFAST]

Neighbor,

It is now time for you to go and restart elsewhere.

I will crush you, and make you feel weak. Your village is now my farm, and considered my property. I am your true power, your occult, the vengeance wished on you from others. I am HE who is the destroyer, the destructor. You will hate me, you will ridicule me, you will feel my pain onto you.

I do not pity you. I pray for your destruction in this world. It is now time for you to leave.

RangerChasten
Incoming Support (630|790) K76


I found this rather funny to read today, I guess it is hard to look people up before you send silly mails like this.

 

[DeletedUser]

Lol I sent him a message Stafast lol I'm hoping to get a funnier threat than you did. lol

 

[DeletedUser83995]

chimamgu on 11.01. at 19:37
liv me alone!! you are stopping my growth

Pursuit Of Happiness today at 00:49
What does tgv mean?

You were attacked by a farming script. Your village has now been removed.

chimamgu today at 16:09
i'm new to this game so pls wats a farming script? p.s this game is difficult.

Pursuit Of Happiness today at 17:09
This account has premium. You can put strips of code in a quick bar. In this case it shows up as "Farming with 10LC". I can click this while at the rally point and it will enter in coordinates and troops. I push enter and done. It makes farming quicker.

Farming is what players call when they attack another village for resources.

When creating the script my brother used something called farm finder. Which gave him a bunch of coordinates to put in the script. Because of this we have to take out some coordinates because your not an ideal farm.

chimamgu today at 19:06
somtimes i wonder if i shuld delete my account 0_0

Hahahaha pretty sure he was just messing with me but i thought it was funny :icon_biggrin:

 

[DeletedUser]

OK, so after over a month on W54, a new villa appeared almost next door to me. It was a player who had gotten nobled out, restarted in the middle of his tribe, and then was kicked from his tribe. So I now had a tribeless, 168-point villa in my area - an area where most, if not all, of the players are setting noble targets.

Great.

So, being nice, I emailed him.

Cy-Pres today at 04:45
I normally don't send out these kind of mails, but I think you should just restart on the rim.

Seriously.

You're not going to get far in my church, you know that right?

Restart in a couple days out where you can grow, please.

I got this in response:

g-dog30 today at 06:54
..edited

Running out of options, I found out who nobled him and decided to email that player (ThePikey) for redress:

Cy-Pres today at 07:18
... so there I was, minding my own business, sending out my farming runs and generally playing "Sim City" ...

... when up pops a new villa. Occupied by one g-dog30. Confused, I noticed that you had the honor of nobling his villa, thus making him restart "in the middle of his tribe" (which, at the time, was GOD.) Incidentally, it's good to know my church area encompasses the heart of the GOD family.

But I digress.

Once I noticed him, I sent him a kind and gentle note saying that he should probably just wait, and then head towards the rim. This is not friendly territory for someone at 100 points or whatever he has.

His response consisted of one line, and ended with an obscenity. Fun guy.

In short, ThePikey, I blame you for this foul-mouthed little idiot now occupying my church space, and I demand satisfaction.

I insist that you dispatch your entire army to dispose of this turd, as it is completely your fault he darkens my doorway. I will allow you the time it takes him to come out from under the blanket of BP to amass your forces. Please send enough to completely wipe him. For my part, I will take care of catting him into the stone age.

I hope you realize the urgency of this letter, and contact me promptly so that we can arrange a convenient landing time for our forces.

Thank you, hope to hear from you soon,

-Cy-Pres

ThePikey today at 10:09
Rofl, that was hilarious. He's already on the rim though xD

Cy-Pres today at 15:39
Apparently, I persuaded him.

I guess you have dodged the bullet this time.

:: wink ::

- Cy.

(Nice to meet you, btw.)

ThePikey today at 15:51
Nice to meet you too

Problem solved, and I can now go back to playing Sim City in peace. :icon_biggrin:

 

[dfix]

Problem solved, and I can now go back to playing Sim City in peace. :icon_biggrin:

Cy you rule

care to co play my mail box?

 

[Kash2Smash]

Hahahaha pretty sure he was just messing with me but i thought it was funny :icon_biggrin:

u were still nice to him though

if it was me, i might have told him that farming means buying some tractors and going out into the field to grow some crops for the soldiers to eat:icon_redface:

 

[DeletedUser83995]

u were still nice to him though

if it was me, i might have told him that farming means buying some tractors and going out into the field to grow some crops for the soldiers to eat:icon_redface:

The mods edited the funny part out of the post so you didnt get to see why it was so funny. If you want to read it i can PM it to you

 

[Kash2Smash]

i wouldnt mind

 

[Kash2Smash]

Funny Player Profile!!

http://en54.tribalwars.net/game.php?&screen=info_player&&id=4392891

 

[DeletedUser]

so this all started because he scouted me and i sent some scouts back at him

Shamanics today at 03:58
Honestly, 400 points and that is all you got?

silversig today at 04:02
yes cause scouts are not that necessary to me at this point of the game

Shamanics today at 04:03
I guess troops are not either important to you.....

silversig today at 04:11
there important to me, but when you know how to use them it doesnt matter the ammount

Shamanics today at 04:28
Oh really?

silversig today at 04:29
yea

Shamanics today at 04:41
Too bad you actually cant.... Keep on dreaming

silversig today at 04:45
lol, all talk and no action, why dont you attack me if you think your so good

Shamanics today at 04:49
I dont find a need to do so....

silversig today at 04:54
ha, i knew it you wont attack me cause you dont know how to use your troops

Shamanics today at 04:57
Easy words like that wont affect me at all, if you want me to do something you will have to use something different, maybe heavier?

silversig today at 05:04
im not the one that started this you were so, if you cant finish it then just say so. i might even let you keep your village when i get my noble if you say your sorry

Shamanics today at 05:06
With a farm 7 I have more spears than you a combination of all of your troops. I think I am safe.

silversig today at 05:08
oh no spearmen, im so scared...lmao

Shamanics today at 05:10
I was being sarcastic on my low number of spears L)

silversig today at 05:11
shure, yet you still wont attack me

Shamanics today at 05:47
"Shure", is that a new word?

silversig today at 05:53
don't change the subject,if you wont attack me then admit it

Shamanics today at 06:01
I will attack you when I see it convenient, if you insult me I might see convenient to do something. But I know you are not going to do so, at least, for your sake, you should not.

silversig today at 06:05
im not going to threaten you,im not going to get banned cause you wont attack me, and as far as im concerned i have already threatened you by saying i was going to noble you when i got my first noble

Shamanics today at 06:17
You are not going to threaten me yet you already threatened me? Oh, so you are retracting your "I will noble you with my 200 spears" claim? Please n00b, quit the whining and learn to play.

silversig today at 06:54
did i retract my statement? NO. did i threaten you with 200 spears? NO. are you the "N00b" YES

Shamanics today at 07:13
You said you were not going to threaten me. Contradicting yourself too much? So you actually only have 200 spears, too bad :S That is not nearly enough to take me.

silversig today at 07:19
it wasn't a threat it was a promise as far as im concerned and no im not going to take you out with spears cause that would be a noob move something you probably do all the time

Shamanics today at 07:24
Too bad my farm level suggests I am way better than you.

silversig today at 07:30
so now were competing with building level's?

ok too bad my wall lvl,resource lvl's and barrack lvl's are better than your's my troops are probably even better than yours as well you just wont attack me cause you know they will die

 

[DeletedUser95858]

Wow... There's whole Wall of Not Funny there. Please someone Spoil that... make it go away.

 

[dfix]

ok too bad my wall lvl,resource lvl's and barrack lvl's are better than your's

I fear that the jock is on you here.

 

[DeletedUser]

I couldn't tell which of you was supposed to be the dumb one... Not very funny I thought.

 

[ToPaT]

I couldn't tell which of you was supposed to be the dumb one... Not very funny I thought.

that

 

[DeletedUser]

Funny Player Profile!!

http://en54.tribalwars.net/game.php?&screen=info_player&&id=4392891

correct me if im wrong,but i believe there was something similar (especially the first spoiler titled "Failure to read this is your demise")on Skunk15s or ToPaTs proflie on w48?