Funny in-game messages


What can I say? I have the biggest farm in my area and I know that by visiting all of the lovely peoples village, sadly I didn't want to make new life in them villages so I didn't send my brave troops into the village.


Stretch that was a brilliant mail one of the best i've ever read.


Part of the Furniture
Reaction score
Would have been better if she wasn't the one creating the innuendos in the first place though :icon_wink:

Bloodhood's lesson in how to dodge a question.

taiano today at 01:39
hey bud havin a prob with ur tribe im being farmed daily for no reason i tried mailin the ppl but all they said was they were bored thats y they r atakin me would u mind tellin them 2 lay off im jus buildin up an lookin for a trib but these guy been atakin me for a while now plz mail me bak an thnx

Bloodhood today at 01:48
Try speaking English first.

taiano today at 01:51
u mean correct English right? i am having a problem with your tribe members attacking me for no reason i tried to mail them but they said that they are attacking me because of boredom if you can talk to them into stoping it would be appreciated

Bloodhood today at 01:54
Indeed I did. I find it peculiar you use a capital on E for English, yet you don't capitalize the first letter of a sentence or any "I"s.

taiano today at 01:55
lol thats spell check bud not my doing lol sorry bout that. but can you help me?

Bloodhood today at 03:01
You had to use spell check?

taiano today at 03:04
i alway's use spell check

Bloodhood today at 03:16
Why's that?

taiano today at 03:29
force of habit from school .... devry so it's out of habit

Bloodhood today at 13:06
Ah right.

King Matt II

haha i loled alot in that.... still misses king matts however sad he left :(
I'm still around. :p
Maybe I'll go find some funny mails, but considering I'd have to search through almost 150 pages of mail just to find them, not too sure if I can be bothered. :(


its my first time again to post such "funny" convo. i'm warning everyone that this is very long convo, a really long one and reader's discretion is advised. i tend to be an evil kitty (just like my time in w14) and love playing with my food. well, without further ado:

eye of terror on 27.01. at 14:04
u attack my tribe

ryeanne today at 06:52
because i'm evil? :D

eye of terror today at 09:22
u say u r eavil but hahaha i fight for the emperer
u will not kill me

ryeanne today at 09:27
ok, could you choose for me what structure i'll demolish first in your village? please?

eye of terror today at 09:30
give me a min plz

ryeanne today at 09:30
ok :D

eye of terror today at 09:32
farm plz

ryeanne today at 09:35
ok, btw since i'm evil its your smithy im gonna demolish :D

eye of terror today at 09:37
u make me lagh all u can do is kill me

ryeanne today at 09:38
uhm, yes? :D

eye of terror today at 09:40
my ally i spoke to haha can kill u but
thay wait for my commands hahaha

ryeanne today at 09:40
sure, i would love killing troops :D

eye of terror today at 09:43
by the emprer all u want is death and murder

ryeanne today at 09:44
uhm, yes?

ryeanne today at 12:26
next is your village HQ :D

eye of terror today at 12:49
u dont have a mind all u do is kill
u let ur tribe boss u about

ryeanne today at 12:52
uhm, yes? :D

eye of terror today at 12:58
hahaha all u do are obay order u cant fight for honer
u r dishonerable and u cant do it on ur own haha

ryeanne today at 12:59
uhm, yes? :D

ryeanne today at 12:59
do you believe i'm evil now? :D

eye of terror today at 13:00
no ur just a tribe slave

ryeanne today at 13:02
uhm, yes? >:D

how about now? do i look evil? :D

eye of terror today at 13:03

ryeanne today at 13:06
oh poor sud, uhm, i would like you to humor me more.

after i demolish your village hq, what do you wish for me to demolish next?

eye of terror today at 13:11
ur face

eye of terror today at 13:12
hahaha that shut u up

ryeanne today at 13:13
my face wont be found anywhere near your village, maybe i could demolish your face...hmmm...that would be harsh.

how about i'll demolish everything in your village little by little, that would be nice of me, right? :D

ryeanne today at 13:14
oh i could go long enough to see the end of this charade till you finalize have the brain and capacity to restart. :D

eye of terror today at 13:16
hahaha u cant face the fact im in power of a tribe and
ur not needed by ur tribe

ryeanne today at 13:17
uhm, yes? :D

eye of terror today at 13:19
u sure u dont want to join this tribe
u and i can rule toghther

ryeanne today at 13:22
oh, no. i would be depriving myself of the sheer joy that i alone could turn your little tribe in ruins if i join your ragtag tribe of yours. :D

this may sound rude but i should say it anyway, here it goes; GET REAL :D

eye of terror today at 13:23
u think im beat

ryeanne today at 13:25
no, i'm trying to carefully make you say i'm evil :D

eye of terror today at 13:26
but u supid u say ur plan
but u not evil

ryeanne today at 13:28
i'm giving a preview of my actions, isn't it obvious?

so... do you mind if i demolish everything in your village little by little? :D

eye of terror today at 13:29
hahaha u make me :D all u do is kill if u evil i will have to fight back but u just stupid

ryeanne today at 13:30
oh goody, fight back! finally :D

then i should go all out war at you now then :D

shall i begin? :D

eye of terror today at 13:31
ha u not evil

ryeanne today at 13:33
yup, i'm no evil :D

so shall i begin my all out attacks?

eye of terror today at 13:34
hahaha u told uself u not evil u stupid

eye of terror today at 13:36
wer allys

eye of terror today at 13:36
u heratick

ryeanne today at 13:36
i was asking you, maybe you didn't fathom what i'm talking about :D

getting back on the subject of all out war, shall i begin?

uhm, before i forget, please don't cry. :D

ryeanne today at 13:37
oh we are allies, then i should really ruin your village then, so that there won't be any evidence :D

eye of terror today at 13:38
u the one that will cry u heratick

ryeanne today at 13:38
i'm crying in joy because i get to smash your little village. :D

eye of terror today at 13:40
haha u cry in horrer soon

ryeanne today at 13:43
i'm still having fun :D

i will gladly await that "horrer" or whatever that word is :D

and i'll post this little charade we have in tribalwars forum. :D

eye of terror today at 13:44
but u holdin all the convosation to ur advantige

ryeanne today at 13:46
oh finally you figured that out, i'll give you a cookie for that :D

can i have your village? i accidentally sent 4 nobles. :D

eye of terror today at 13:47
ha no matter if u take my vill i will never go

ryeanne today at 13:48
my intention was not to push you away. i want you to stay. :D

i'm still having fun playing with you. :D

eye of terror today at 13:48
hahaha u never lisson

ryeanne today at 13:50
lisson, hmm... what that could be....

oh i know, you are the illiterate guy in your tribe, aren't you :D

eye of terror today at 13:51
no i am the tactics

ryeanne today at 13:52
now you got me worried, please, please call your local mental institution and admit yourself in.. do it quickly!


eye of terror today at 13:52
u think u r funny

eye of terror today at 13:52
but y kill me?

ryeanne today at 13:53
because i'm no evil :D

i likey killy you :D

eye of terror today at 13:54
hahaha all u doin it killin uself slowly

ryeanne today at 13:55
last time i check, i'm killing you slowly :D

eye of terror today at 13:56
hahahaha i can rebild

ryeanne today at 13:57
i can attack :D

eye of terror today at 13:58
hahaha yh u can but i wont count on it much longer

eye of terror today at 13:59
u blufin 4 nobals

ryeanne today at 14:00
oh you figured that all by yourself? this is great! you are growing up to be a fine jester :D

eye of terror today at 14:02
haha u only pick on the week

ryeanne today at 14:04
actually i pick on every week, that's 4 weeks in a month and 52 weeks in a year :D

i admit i love picking on "week" :D

eye of terror today at 14:05
but what if u got picked on by the strong

ryeanne today at 14:07
that would be the day i'll be smiling and say "its about time you showed up".

i would be happy if that is the case :D

are you happy i'm picking on you? :D

eye of terror today at 14:08
well it a chalange but yh

ryeanne today at 14:10
its a challenge for me too. i'm containing this excitement, this bursting emotion of happiness, of me killing you, figuratively ofc :D

are you having fun? i am having fun. :D

eye of terror today at 14:11
u i will kill u if u do much more

ryeanne today at 14:13
oh goody, what a treat! lets get it on!


eye of terror today at 14:14
u asked for it

ryeanne today at 14:16
finally! give me your best shot :D

the convo isn't finished yet and i'm afraid i already bored all of you to death :D


Stretch/Yoshi, that sounds surprisingly like my girlfriend when she's trying to be sexual without being direct :icon_neutral:


Lets try another grammar related conversation:

eye of terror on 29.01. at 13:37
is ur tribe attackin me

jenchuk on 29.01. at 13:47
Why aren't you using grammar? Without it, we're just making incoherent sounds, like apes.

eye of terror on 29.01. at 13:48
i cant spell

jenchuk on 29.01. at 13:54
Sure you can. See, only 2 spelling mistakes in 3 words. It means that statistically you get every third word correct.

eye of terror on 29.01. at 13:55
look can u stop him we r allys arnt we

eye of terror on 29.01. at 13:58
Troop movements
Incoming troops Arrival time Arrival in
Incoming Support today at 14:36:30:744 0:39:35
Incoming Support today at 15:29:23:884 1:32:28
Incoming Support today at 15:29:34:977 1:32:39
Incoming Support today at 15:29:46:295 1:32:51
Incoming Support today at 15:30:01:682

jenchuk on 29.01. at 14:01
We're allied only to those who use grammar.

I will, if you will write a correct sentense in English. You know, capital letters, punctuation, no abbrevations like "i" and "r", and stuff like that.

eye of terror on 29.01. at 14:02
Ok now will you please.

jenchuk on 29.01. at 14:06
See, it wasn't that hard, wasn't it?
Told you you can spell. :)

Also, people are much nicer to you when you speak to them properly.

eye of terror on 29.01. at 14:07
ok thanks mate.

jenchuk on 29.01. at 16:22
Dude... why are you declairing war? I told you I take care of that...
Now we have no choice, but to try and outstand the wrath of your mighty tribe.

See you on the battlefield. Have mercy on our souls.

eye of terror on 29.01. at 16:23
u didnt do enything

jenchuk on 29.01. at 16:27
How can you tell?

Did you got more incomings after we've spoken?

eye of terror on 29.01. at 16:27

eye of terror on 29.01. at 16:28
Incoming Support today at 16:36:19:745
Incoming Support today at 18:44:09:872

jenchuk on 29.01. at 16:30
No dude, it's just the builders. I told ryeanne to send you some workers to rebuild your village... Please accept them with open hands to your village, they will build up the buildings that have been demolished...

eye of terror on 29.01. at 16:31

eye of terror on 29.01. at 16:33
but it has an attack sine
He is still waiting for the builders...


IceHotPenguin on 29.01. at 02:43
There is no need to attack us. What did we ever do to you? ^^

battlejackmaster on 29.01. at 02:46
uh. you sent a noble train at me. :D.

pathetic man. like my tribe won't send support. one of your nobles will die. :p.

IceHotPenguin on 29.01. at 02:47
You think so? I mean, it will take a while for support and my train isn't that far away. ^^

So, chances are you'll be nobled. But go and get support anyway - I'll just kill it if it arrives in time. =)

IceHotPenguin on 29.01. at 03:11
No rams, tut tut.

battlejackmaster on 29.01. at 06:30
rams are for noobs. if you are a pro you don't noble noobs. you go after pros like yourself. and if you take a village odds are if you are dealing with pros. they will try to take it back. so if you keep the wall you can send support to your village and it will greatly increase your defense. ya it costs a bit more when taking the vill. but it also saves you hours of waiting for the wall to upgrade..

why am i telling you this advice??? sigh.

IceHotPenguin on 29.01. at 06:47
Ah, so your one of those people. I'll enjoy nobling you then.

battlejackmaster on 29.01. at 19:08
... you mean theirs actually other people that agree with that theory....

IceHotPenguin on 29.01. at 19:10
No, I don't know what he was thinking. You are right really. Why do they even include rams in this game?

battlejackmaster on 29.01. at 19:11
to destroy farms walls. though i think catapults should sorta be able to do that too.

IceHotPenguin on 29.01. at 19:12
what are these catapults you speak of?

battlejackmaster on 29.01. at 19:14
mmmmm. whats wrong with cats? i like them. never have gotten to do it. but i figure if i ever have a few hundred k. (which i have) and then meet a player that is a total jerk. i will reduce him to two villages. (so he can't restart) then cat him down to 100 point villages. until he is forced to quit the game.

IceHotPenguin on 29.01. at 19:15
nono... You misunderstand... What are catapults?

battlejackmaster on 29.01. at 19:17
and i am still misunderstanding you.

cats are a unit. that you build. in the workshop. when it is level three. with that altheias bone fire torch thing they get a 40 percent defenese bonus. heck. you could have a village of solid cats and have an ok defense.

IceHotPenguin on 29.01. at 19:22
really?? Wow, where do I get me one of those units!! Do I have to mail a TW admin to get this workshop?

battlejackmaster today at 07:01
look. i don't understand the joke you are pulling on me. so the fun is sorta gone on your part. :/

you get our smithy to level 10. your hq to level 10. your done. build it.

IceHotPenguin today at 07:16
Oh, the HQ to level ten? All ours are only 5.
You have to guess who is who!

King Matt II

It's funny, he thinks he's really clever and yet half of what he said was pretty much completely wrong.


please give me the opportunity to do it!
i have many friends and if you won't attack me i will grow and generally enjoy this game!
this account is played apart from me and from my friend who has cancer and one of his favorite hobbies is to play this game!
he may die so he is trying to enjoy his life as more as possible!
it is pitty for me but especially for him to be nobled coz he may depress and worry about it and it will have a great impact to his health!
he doesn't read messages so he won't see our conversation!
i am asking it as a favor!
please don't noble me!
you have to love noobs for their fertile imagination and the stories they come up with as reasons for not to be nobled.
the cancer friend, this one is a classic... lol.


you have to love noobs for their fertile imagination and the stories they come up with as reasons for not to be nobled.
the cancer friend, this one is a classic... lol.
I remember actually nobling a village from a guy who played with his 4 year old son who loved his village.. I knew they were english so I sent my train in the middle of the night and nobled him

I just didn't care :icon_cry: