If you'd pm'd your neighbour first, and said something along the lines of
''I'm going to noble this village, is that ok by you?''
Then I'm sure they'd be cool with it. They'd probably ask you for compo, but that's fair enough isn't it? Better than repeatedly taking troop losses.
I recently took a village. Prior to doing it I had looked at two different targets. I'd pm'd my neighbour asking if he had an interest (as he's significantly more poweful than me) and his reply was,
''please leave those villages, they're my only remaining farms, why not try this village?''
As it turned out, the village he recommended was in a better position, was a better village, and he even assisted me in taking it.
Co-operation rocks.