MR.MR
Guest
Twas the night before war, when all through the world
Not a player was stirring, in a ball we were all curled.
The stacks were placed on the frontline with care,
In anticipation of the incoming that soon would be there.
The players were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of slaughter danced in their heads.
And Carla in her ‘kerchief, and CuzTexas in his cap,
Had just put Vicks on their eyes for a long winter’s nap.
When out on the frontline there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a gigantic army, enemy noblemen were here!
With a little old duke, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be that dick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
Assholeclown whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
"Now Morpeth! now, Laidlaw! now, Twodot Speed Dealer!
On, Mulloway! On, WildAnimal! on Gouge and Teanagger!
To the top of the world! to the top of it all!
Now cat them! Noble them! Ram down their wall!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So all over their overviews, the coursers they flew,
With the trains full of troops, and ol' Assholeclown too.
And then, in a thunder, I heard at the gate
The sounds of an army, coming for my mate.
As I donned my armor, and sharpened my sword,
Through the gates burst Ryan at the head of a hoard.
He was covered in blood, from his head to his toe,
And his clothes were all tarnished from battles long ago.
A bundle of skulls he had flung on his back,
Here was a death-dealer, leading the attack!
His eyes-how they burned! his muscles how scary!
Even a picture of Scott's beard, couldn't make this scene merry!
His smart little mouth was drawn up in ire,
And the beard of his chin was as red as the fire.
The roach of a joint he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
But enough about Scott and his smoke-that-is-smelly,
Bonnie's coming for your women, and he has no petroleum jelly!
Stunz is chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
But a flick of his hand lopped off a head,
And soon I was overcome with a feeling of dread.
HeYoo spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Killing and pillaging and going berserk.
And when it was done, and the village was his,
He got back on his horse and was off in a whizz!
Scott sprang to his chariot, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all rode like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"NADs declares on V/A, NOW LETS HAVE A GOOD FIGHT,
Stop stealing our Gravy, WE'RE COMING FOR YOU DAVEY!"
GO NADs!
Not a player was stirring, in a ball we were all curled.
The stacks were placed on the frontline with care,
In anticipation of the incoming that soon would be there.
The players were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of slaughter danced in their heads.
And Carla in her ‘kerchief, and CuzTexas in his cap,
Had just put Vicks on their eyes for a long winter’s nap.
When out on the frontline there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a gigantic army, enemy noblemen were here!
With a little old duke, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be that dick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
Assholeclown whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
"Now Morpeth! now, Laidlaw! now, Twodot Speed Dealer!
On, Mulloway! On, WildAnimal! on Gouge and Teanagger!
To the top of the world! to the top of it all!
Now cat them! Noble them! Ram down their wall!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So all over their overviews, the coursers they flew,
With the trains full of troops, and ol' Assholeclown too.
And then, in a thunder, I heard at the gate
The sounds of an army, coming for my mate.
As I donned my armor, and sharpened my sword,
Through the gates burst Ryan at the head of a hoard.
He was covered in blood, from his head to his toe,
And his clothes were all tarnished from battles long ago.
A bundle of skulls he had flung on his back,
Here was a death-dealer, leading the attack!
His eyes-how they burned! his muscles how scary!
Even a picture of Scott's beard, couldn't make this scene merry!
His smart little mouth was drawn up in ire,
And the beard of his chin was as red as the fire.
The roach of a joint he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
But enough about Scott and his smoke-that-is-smelly,
Bonnie's coming for your women, and he has no petroleum jelly!
Stunz is chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
But a flick of his hand lopped off a head,
And soon I was overcome with a feeling of dread.
HeYoo spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Killing and pillaging and going berserk.
And when it was done, and the village was his,
He got back on his horse and was off in a whizz!
Scott sprang to his chariot, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all rode like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"NADs declares on V/A, NOW LETS HAVE A GOOD FIGHT,
Stop stealing our Gravy, WE'RE COMING FOR YOU DAVEY!"
GO NADs!
