DeletedUser
Guest
Before you read this, be warned that I am terribly stressed out to the maximum I can take. This was written in part because I need to vent my anger and frustrations, in part because I need to apologize to those I have been rude to in-game, but mostly because I simply can not understand what the mother and father said to me after my wife and I won our court case today.
So, a while back my wife Lindsay and I got temporary protective custody of our niece. She has been living with us for the past 3 months. She just turned 5 months old.
For the last month I have been involved in a heated and demoralizing custody battle over baby Ellie. It has been and off and on process drug through multiple court appearances and substantial legal and other costs. In this process, I have learned that the legal system does not care about a child's welfare except for two items:
1. They have to be fed regularly.
2. They have to have a place to live.
If you are the BIRTH PARENT:
Fed regularly does not mean they have to eat baby formula, baby food, or anything to help them grow. It can be as simple as a bottle only filled with water.
Place to live does not mean a steady home. No, it means you can crash at friends houses randomly. These locations do not have to be safe. You can living in the middle of the ghetto, in a house infested with fleas and roaches, with prostitutes and drug dealers living in the same house.
If you are the CUSTODIAN:
Being fed means they get the proper nutrition from specific baby formulas and foods, medical checkups, and all of their required shots and vaccinations within 1 week of the recommended time period. Oh yeah, since you are actually successful and make a decent salary, you no longer qualify for the child's government assistance. However, you medical plan does not cover non-dependents. Since it is temporary custody you can not claim the child as a dependent until they have lived with you a full year. So, all hospital check ups, shots, vaccines, and other medical needs are straight out of pocket expenses.
A steady place to live means you must provide them their own room, you must have a home study to ensure it is structurally sound, the atmosphere is conducive to raising a child, the child is properly protected from harm (i.e. outlet plugs, locked cupboard doors, etc), and the surrounding area is generally free of violent crime. Oh, and to prove this home study you have to pay somewhere between $4,000 and $8,000 depending upon certain factors. (We haven't received the final bill yet to know our total).
While my wife and I have had to jump through incredible hoops just to protect this child from her alcoholic, drug addicted, prostitute, homeless birth mother and a father who didn't care baby Ellie existed until he learned he could get additionally welfare from the government, they have had to prove nothing. After a month of this continuous court battle, I am utterly exhausted to a level I never once thought possible. But while this whole process has been going on... one question has continuously plagued my mind. It is something I can not fathom. It is something I can not comprehend. It is something that troubles me to the very core of my values and upbringing.
I have a very hard time understanding these things, but I learned them over the period of the custody battle:
How can a mother or a father look at a child as a source of income?
How can a parent only want to have custody so they can collect more government money?
How can two people with no jobs, drug addictions, history of mental problems, no place to live, still even think for a minute they can care for a child?
How can you not love your child?
What I can not understand, and what tears my heart to pieces is this:
How can you look me in the eye and tell me that you don't care if she lives now that you can't get custody back?
So, a while back my wife Lindsay and I got temporary protective custody of our niece. She has been living with us for the past 3 months. She just turned 5 months old.
For the last month I have been involved in a heated and demoralizing custody battle over baby Ellie. It has been and off and on process drug through multiple court appearances and substantial legal and other costs. In this process, I have learned that the legal system does not care about a child's welfare except for two items:
1. They have to be fed regularly.
2. They have to have a place to live.
If you are the BIRTH PARENT:
Fed regularly does not mean they have to eat baby formula, baby food, or anything to help them grow. It can be as simple as a bottle only filled with water.
Place to live does not mean a steady home. No, it means you can crash at friends houses randomly. These locations do not have to be safe. You can living in the middle of the ghetto, in a house infested with fleas and roaches, with prostitutes and drug dealers living in the same house.
If you are the CUSTODIAN:
Being fed means they get the proper nutrition from specific baby formulas and foods, medical checkups, and all of their required shots and vaccinations within 1 week of the recommended time period. Oh yeah, since you are actually successful and make a decent salary, you no longer qualify for the child's government assistance. However, you medical plan does not cover non-dependents. Since it is temporary custody you can not claim the child as a dependent until they have lived with you a full year. So, all hospital check ups, shots, vaccines, and other medical needs are straight out of pocket expenses.
A steady place to live means you must provide them their own room, you must have a home study to ensure it is structurally sound, the atmosphere is conducive to raising a child, the child is properly protected from harm (i.e. outlet plugs, locked cupboard doors, etc), and the surrounding area is generally free of violent crime. Oh, and to prove this home study you have to pay somewhere between $4,000 and $8,000 depending upon certain factors. (We haven't received the final bill yet to know our total).
While my wife and I have had to jump through incredible hoops just to protect this child from her alcoholic, drug addicted, prostitute, homeless birth mother and a father who didn't care baby Ellie existed until he learned he could get additionally welfare from the government, they have had to prove nothing. After a month of this continuous court battle, I am utterly exhausted to a level I never once thought possible. But while this whole process has been going on... one question has continuously plagued my mind. It is something I can not fathom. It is something I can not comprehend. It is something that troubles me to the very core of my values and upbringing.
I have a very hard time understanding these things, but I learned them over the period of the custody battle:
How can a mother or a father look at a child as a source of income?
How can a parent only want to have custody so they can collect more government money?
How can two people with no jobs, drug addictions, history of mental problems, no place to live, still even think for a minute they can care for a child?
How can you not love your child?
What I can not understand, and what tears my heart to pieces is this:
How can you look me in the eye and tell me that you don't care if she lives now that you can't get custody back?
