40 worlds ago and beyond people would have looked at this declaration and likely have shred it to pieces, especially this coming from an 'esteemed' tribe. Declaring war on these forums is making a public statement that exposes your tribe to peers, competitors and others to critique and evaluate your tribe and its' members. In the long run, unless your tribe is incredibly organized and active, publicly doing this needs to be thorough and approach the audience using a holistic model. I had to do a lot of research just to understand what is actually going on. This declaration gets a 4/10 for me.
You stated that you lacked the time (and clearly some effort) to put together a more formal, endearing and swaying declaration that would have us the crowd cheering for you. Instead, we are walking around scratching our heads asking ourselves what we just read. The reason for war is muddled in a plethora of extraneous discourse and minutiae and lacks necessary subtleties.
Who is declaring on who? What rank was each tribe when the war started? Who is mad at who? Why hasn't the other tribe responded? Where are the constant updates of TW Stats? Why was this post allowed without the tribe editing it/reviewing it/helping with BB Codes? Why do family tribes still exist? I have a host of other questions.