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DeletedUser

Guest
Off-topic FTW!
To get the ball rolling:



Here's something to think about.

An older acquaintance of mine recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, the doctor said he was doing 'fairly well' for his age. (He just turned sixty-something.)

A little concerned about that comment, he couldn't resist asking the doctor, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'

The doctor replied by asking, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?

'Oh no,' my mate replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'

Then the doctor asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?

My mate said, 'Not a lot. My former doctor said that too much red meat is very unhealthy.'

'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'

'No, I don't,' he said.

The doctor asked, 'Do you gamble or drive fast cars?'

'No,' he replied yet again.

The doctor looked at him and said, 'Then, why do you even give a rats?'
 

DeletedUser

Guest
I think, I'm going to post too - just for being the first at this.
For once :icon_biggrin: !


... edited 0,0006660001234543210 ms later:

Posted :icon_wink: !
 

DeletedUser

Guest
Those who know me well, know I got married 4 months ago.
I figured this was a fitting joke.


Ahh Marriage!

It's not all about love. That's half of it... The other half is about that moment you have with yourself when you're looking in the mirror, and you just go, 'Oh man. I'm going to compromise my dreams, get fat, sick, old and die someday. I kind of want to have someone around for that.'
 

zakipoo

Guest
Congrats AYK! i forgot but was there a new kid in the picture as well?

I got one,...

A man is walking with a little girl into the deep dark forest...
the girl squeezes his hand and says IM SCARED THIS PLACE IS CREEPY
the man replies
YOURE SCARED?! IMAGINE HOW SCARED I AM! I GOTTA WALK BACK ALL ALONE!
 

DeletedUser

Guest
I love it! Thanks, zakipoo. I'm adding it to my collection now...
 

DeletedUser36833

Guest
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse walk into a bar in Liverpool.

2 hours later, the Four Pedestrians of the Apocalypse vow to never drink in Liverpool again.
 
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