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Issue #1
For the first time, it is time for the arrival of the Stormy Digest.
This week, the contents are:
1) ATEN updates -
i) ATENHQ wars
ii) ATENHQ ODA compared to points
iii) Map of ATENHQ and branch
2) Top 10 MAP and REVIEW
i)Everyone against STORM?!
3) Interview with Leader of [BA]... MM_HUN
Once again, us little STORMLINGS put our big TOO BIG brains together and came up with some new ideas.
Our team this week consists of:
Interviewer: Anonymus Interviewer
Map Maker: vacupky
Reviewer: Elmo and Jello :/
Picture Designer: Roby
Editor: Roby
Article Writer: Roby
Special Guest: Mighty.
Yes, I did pretty much everything this week ^_^
So now, onto the actual newspaper.
ATEN Updates
As many of you know, ATENHQ is STILL at war with numerous tribes. The following are the statistics for ALL of ATENHQ's wars over the past month or even from the start of this world 17.
ATENHQ vs CHE!!!
Side 1: AtenHQ
Side 2: CHE!!!
Timeframe: Last month
Total conquers against opposite side:
Side 1: 0
Side 2: 9
Difference: 9
This war has gone totally crazy... they are fighting for months already and as you can see it is bloody though fight... shall ATENHQ turn tides around or shall CHE!!! keep on blasting ATENHQ... check it out in next STROMY DIGEST
ATENHQ vs [BA]
Side 1: AtenHQ
Side 2: [BA]
Timeframe: Forever
Total conquers against opposite side:
Side 1: 0
Side 2: 5
Difference: 5
Well it seems [BA] treats were completly right... from the start of w17 they are pushing them and IMO it is shown on stats... but intel shows us that ATENHQ has secret plans and this war will soon go in another direction... dont tell we didnt warn ya [BA]...
ATENHQ vs ATENHQ
Side 1: AtenHQ
Side 2: AtenHQ
Timeframe: Last month
Total conquers against opposite side:
Side 1: 5
Side 2: 5
Difference: 0
Ok this is tide... as you can see ATENHQ can do some fightbacks so w17 watch out... this stats shows us they are not so bad as everyone tries to show them...
ATENHQ ODA compared to points
The blue line should represent the average...
As we can see some are saving troops for better use like um... I dont know
MAP OF ATENHQ and branch
TOP 10 MAP and REVIEW
The top ten by Elmo T. Poggs esq.
Jello, is it you I am looking for?
1.Legend - Despite recent concerns it has been brought to my attention that the tribe formely known as 'Legend' is still regarding and henceforth known as 'Legend'. They have huffed and puffed and attained the top spot, through large amounts of pointwhoring and recruiting. Whatever you can say they are top and will remain force in the coming minutes.
2.CHE!!! - On October 51st nineteenfiftyteacosy a small mouse exploded, the resulting sticky mess was moulded in the tribe we know today.
3.[BA] - Formed by the free loving hippy MM_HUN in an attempt to reform the band.
4.STORM - Since the beginning of time the tribe STORM, or just STORM for short, has existed in one form or another. In the early terassic period the tribe was in an entity of just a handfull of monkeys hellbent on discovering the meaning of the popular T.V. show Desperate Housewives. Another mutation was to found in 1927 when Alred Salmon Biscuit decided to ride from England to America in a sieve, needless to say the expedtion was a disaster costing the lives of some 500,000 local wellwishers. In recent months the tribe has manifested itself in the tribalwars.net W17 server, playing a prominent role as the most intelligent tribe per square foot.
5.Wisdom - Something the 5th spot tribe lacks is Wisdom, a recent shoebox of ants has been noted 'most likely' to have caused the problem.
6.Tao - An Austrian professor Oscar H. Koenningseg conducted a series of tests to discover the most Japanense sounding three letter word, the answer was 'How'.
7.PIXIES - Shakespeares mum had a dog called PIXIE
8.MOJO - Yeah baby yeah! Wait Vanessa, I can explain. You see, I was looking for Dr. Evil when the Fembots came out and smoke started coming out of their jomblies. So I started to work my mojo, to counter their mojo; we got cross-mojulation, and their heads started exploding.
9.INI - INI outi, uppi downi drinky poison through boredom of this analysis?
10.DOM - yes...
Elmo was not able to conclude his analysis.
Everyone against STORM?!
This is how cruel world is towards little STORM... is it beacuse of name? Beacasue of mighty or even crazy (yeah I know ultra scary names... NOT!!!)... or just beacuse of name... I ask you only one question!
How could anything live on Earth if not for STORM... you want us call SUN!? damnt!
Interview with MM_HUN
Anonymus Interviewer:... the interviewer
Anonymus Interviewer:
First of all thank you for your time... can you please introduce yourself to W17 comunnity altough everyone already knows how annyoing poster you are...
MM_HUN:
I am sorry?
Anonymus Interviewer:
I mean how good poster you are....
MM_HUN:
... I thought I read it wrong
Anonymus Interviewer:
Nah you didnt...
MM_HUN:
Ok then, well I am MM_HUN glorious leader of the tribe Fekete Sereg, or simply [BA], can I say thank you for interviewing me.
Anonymus Interviewer:
Yes you can...well onto my questions
What can you tell us about your past on TW?
MM_HUN:
Well my first world was W1. I started on the rim but did not progress far as I got distracted by a local flower show which made it impossible for me to continue my passion of horticulture, and internet gaming. I quit W1 as I got bored of being a low pointer and having a poor tribe. My next world was W3, I lead a tribe called space pansies. This world was more sucessful than my last and the tribe flourished. I grew to the staggering height, or so it seemed at the time, of 5 villages and the tribe managed to break into the top 500! The excitement nearly killed me and I wet my pants when I saw that we were in the top 500. When we grew to rank 350 I felt so happy that I went to my local garden centre and brought a whole new set of flowers for my garden. I carried on with this tribe until W17 came out and then I formed the tribe we know today. I quit W3 shortly after but planted a daffodil in its honour on my bedroom floor.
Anonymus Interviewer:
Do you belive that [BA] with you has promising future?
MM_HUN:
I believe in karma. You see TW is like a flower, you have to water it, feed it, make sure it has plenty of sunlight and make sure that the petals are always pretty. I think that I have performed good deeds in real life, and my local flower group will testify to this. I think that through all my good deeds in RL I can benefit my tribe greatly through more floral pursuits.
Anonymus Interviewer:
What you think about us two going outta town and dance in the flowers field?
MM_HUN:
Are you being serious?
I am serious and do not take people not being serious, quite seriously. Now I suggest that you be serious, as I will not stand for people not being serious as it is one of the seriously annoying things that makes serious people like me more angry. If indeed you are being serious (which I seriously hope you are!) I would love to go dance in the fields and wile a way the hours frolocking amongst the flowers. I could ring my local flower dancing troop, 'The serious flower dancers of Hungary', they are always looking for new members, and someone of your calibre could be a serious new prospect for the troop.
Anonymus Interviewer:
Yes I am serious... we dont play here man! And I would be happy to go to that "pride".
Now, we move onto your opinions. How do you feel about Robi zmaj currently? Does it disappoint you or you have desire to do flower dancing with him?
This is not hidden camera so dont worry... Roby wont jump in the open and take you immediatly to the garden centar...
MM_HUN:
Well I will not hide it, I am not Robi's biggest fan, indeed he is one of those unserious people I cannot abide. I feel utter contempt towards his childish antics and will never forgive him for disbanding DoP as we was well dicking on them and its so not fair. But I believe in karma and forgiveness and I am willing to give Robi a chance, I am willing to take the time to understand his intrecate humour that so far evades the majority of the W17 pnpers. In fact Robi if you read this I would like to offer you something. Would you please join me in the frivollic pursuit of flower dancing, we already have one new member why not make two. I would certainly love someone with such good humour and intelligent ways to accompany me in my next flower dance.
Anonymus Interviewer:
Well Robi there you go... if you read this mail MM_HUN.
We move on... I was meaning to ask you... if you had one wish for World 17, to boost yours and your tribes enjoyment, what would it be?
MM_HUN:
When I look at W17 I see so much hated amongst the tribes, I propose that every weekend all tribes should ceasefire and instead challenge each other to mental debates. I would like to lead the whole of W17, not just my tribe, to a new level of player appreciation. I feel compelled that I should benefit you all by bestowing the great honour of nature. Join me breathren in the great art of flower. Let us lament the Lilly, Serenade the Sycamore and Praise the mighty Palm. Join your hands together and raise them to the sky and repeat 'My world is my heart and my heart is the world, all nature abide by me forever and always'. Please will you spread the word through your bounteous interview so that we may all hold hands together and sing of the abundance of flowers this world has to offer.
Anonymus Interviewer:
Do you always have to give so flowering answers... I am having lunch soon so please?
MM_HUN:
Yes, I do and you should not judge so quick. A man governed by his belly is not a man of nature, like me. You must forget your day to day needs and embrace your natural state. Remove the clothes that contrain you, sit in your naked glory! Clothes constrict the body and the mind, adorn yourself with petals and paint yourself with mud and woad. Sing on the rooftops of the bounteous world, a new power is rising, embrace flower power. We must all look to improving our inner flower, and to do this we must look after nature. Forget about your lunch, look to the outside world take stock and enjoy. The world is your oyster my friend, and we all know that we must respect oysters. So respect your world, enjoy your world and love your world. Man may not live by bread alone but by the love of flowers and all things petal related. Now go forth and preach the bounties of the world, to those who are yet to believe.
Anonymus Interviewer:
Sorry I asked... damn
Now Unfortanetly this interview between us is getting almost done but I had a blast speaking with you... hey where you go?
*It was at this point that I left MM_HUN, he was dancing around the room naked and clutching at all the flowers he had growing in his room, I sighed and ran away*
MM_HUN:
To the trees and the woods,
through brook and dale,
echo my words,
my enduring tale
Anonymus Interviewer:
geeeeeeees... I guess we done
Well as all good things have ending so does this STORMY DIGEST.... thanks for viewing and give us the reason we dont do this next week or month ;p
I would like to thank Shadow and his creation of Cheesy Digest for making it cause if he didnt you wouldnt read this...
This was brought to you by STORMY Wankers
Just as a small advertisement. I dont plan on making any tribe in any of new worlds so....
-Roby
Editor
