DeletedUser112209
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The Ballad of Balian in Ibeline: The legend of a legend
Preface:
My dear friends here on W70, I have decided that today is the day i would like to begin to tell the tale of a player here on W70 that is very dear to all of us. That is, the tale of Mr. Balian in Ibelin. While most everyone here on the forums knows him, not everyone knows his story. I am hoping over the next few weeks to tell you, the readers, the story of this most myterious, epic, and beautiful man named Balian in Ibelin as we take a heartwrenching journey through his life.
PT. 1- "Bear" Hands and forsaken lands.
[spoil] There is a man walking on the road with a bee hive in his left hand, and human head in his right hand, and a pack on his back. There are a plethora of very attractive women following him. He is an extremely short man with a very curly mustache. He walks with a good deal of swagger as the sunshine strikes a soft glare off of his frequently-shampooed mullet. This man is Balian in Ibelin, a legend among men. But before he became a legend, he was a milk man. To be able to comprehend the legend of Balian in Ibelin we must first understand his past. And that ladies and gentlemen, is where our story begins. In the small town of Kerak in the northern part of the realm. Kerak was a town area originally inhabited underwear designers. Balian came from a long line of famous underwear designers in the Ibelin family. However just prior to his birth the invention of several different types of fancier underwear... the boxers, briefs, and even the very controversial thong amongst a host of other new flashy designs, had been hit the market. With these inventions came poverty to the people of Kerak. It was this environment that the beloved Balian was born. He lived a difficult childhood where food was scarce and intelligence scarcer. In fact, so foolish where the inhabitants of this city that they had gained the moniker Fools, which had come to be recognized more commonly that Kerakites. Balian went to school but never quite fit it. The kids always made fun of him because of his lack of coordination and Winnie the Poo lunch box. But things were all about to change for Balian in his 16th year of life. He had long felt the blood of underwear designers flowing through his veins. Then one day, he had an idea for a new pair of underwear. Desperate and arguably even mentally ill, Balian dared to sneak into the local zoo one night and challenge a crocodile to a wrestling match. Balian won after 3 long hours and then skinned part of the crocodile as his spoils of victory to use for his underwear. Over the next three days he slaved to fashion the crocodile skin into a fresh pair of undies. The moment he tried them on is when his life was to be changed forever. Apart from their stylish look and rugged durability, this pair of crocodile undies gave Balian super powers. His powers included the ability to digest food at 10x the normal rate, the development of a second nose located on his lower back, the ability to communicate with animals, and super strength. Soon enough rumors of his victory over the crocodile spread and the town of Fools demanded to see him participate publically in another wrestling match in the open arena, this time against a bear. So Balian put his crocodile underwear on and went to the field where the fight was to occur. The bear and Balian battled a good 1 minute before Balian had the Bear pinned and crying out what Balian later translated to be "Ok, I surrender. Have mercy upon me thou mighty warrior". Balian did have mercy. He then said "You silly bear, I just beat you with my bare hands. Do u get it? Bare like bear, and you're a bear!" The crowd instantly erupted in laughter and exaltation. On his way out Balian saw a maiden that was surely the fairest in all the land. He looked deeply into the eyes of this young woman named Fraxina Excelsior. As his eyes met her she blushed so hard she almost passed out. Balian scooped her up in his arms and walked home. They spend the reminder of the night smooching as though the moon would never shine again and holding hands firmly. And this my friends is where it all began. Having understood the life of the young Balian we can now dive into the riveting stories most synonymous with his life of legend.... [/spoil]
Preface:
My dear friends here on W70, I have decided that today is the day i would like to begin to tell the tale of a player here on W70 that is very dear to all of us. That is, the tale of Mr. Balian in Ibelin. While most everyone here on the forums knows him, not everyone knows his story. I am hoping over the next few weeks to tell you, the readers, the story of this most myterious, epic, and beautiful man named Balian in Ibelin as we take a heartwrenching journey through his life.
PT. 1- "Bear" Hands and forsaken lands.
[spoil] There is a man walking on the road with a bee hive in his left hand, and human head in his right hand, and a pack on his back. There are a plethora of very attractive women following him. He is an extremely short man with a very curly mustache. He walks with a good deal of swagger as the sunshine strikes a soft glare off of his frequently-shampooed mullet. This man is Balian in Ibelin, a legend among men. But before he became a legend, he was a milk man. To be able to comprehend the legend of Balian in Ibelin we must first understand his past. And that ladies and gentlemen, is where our story begins. In the small town of Kerak in the northern part of the realm. Kerak was a town area originally inhabited underwear designers. Balian came from a long line of famous underwear designers in the Ibelin family. However just prior to his birth the invention of several different types of fancier underwear... the boxers, briefs, and even the very controversial thong amongst a host of other new flashy designs, had been hit the market. With these inventions came poverty to the people of Kerak. It was this environment that the beloved Balian was born. He lived a difficult childhood where food was scarce and intelligence scarcer. In fact, so foolish where the inhabitants of this city that they had gained the moniker Fools, which had come to be recognized more commonly that Kerakites. Balian went to school but never quite fit it. The kids always made fun of him because of his lack of coordination and Winnie the Poo lunch box. But things were all about to change for Balian in his 16th year of life. He had long felt the blood of underwear designers flowing through his veins. Then one day, he had an idea for a new pair of underwear. Desperate and arguably even mentally ill, Balian dared to sneak into the local zoo one night and challenge a crocodile to a wrestling match. Balian won after 3 long hours and then skinned part of the crocodile as his spoils of victory to use for his underwear. Over the next three days he slaved to fashion the crocodile skin into a fresh pair of undies. The moment he tried them on is when his life was to be changed forever. Apart from their stylish look and rugged durability, this pair of crocodile undies gave Balian super powers. His powers included the ability to digest food at 10x the normal rate, the development of a second nose located on his lower back, the ability to communicate with animals, and super strength. Soon enough rumors of his victory over the crocodile spread and the town of Fools demanded to see him participate publically in another wrestling match in the open arena, this time against a bear. So Balian put his crocodile underwear on and went to the field where the fight was to occur. The bear and Balian battled a good 1 minute before Balian had the Bear pinned and crying out what Balian later translated to be "Ok, I surrender. Have mercy upon me thou mighty warrior". Balian did have mercy. He then said "You silly bear, I just beat you with my bare hands. Do u get it? Bare like bear, and you're a bear!" The crowd instantly erupted in laughter and exaltation. On his way out Balian saw a maiden that was surely the fairest in all the land. He looked deeply into the eyes of this young woman named Fraxina Excelsior. As his eyes met her she blushed so hard she almost passed out. Balian scooped her up in his arms and walked home. They spend the reminder of the night smooching as though the moon would never shine again and holding hands firmly. And this my friends is where it all began. Having understood the life of the young Balian we can now dive into the riveting stories most synonymous with his life of legend.... [/spoil]
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