The last man on Earth.


Somewhere back on earth a Leprechaun blew life back into Ricardo. He awoke with the a silly grin and wondered about that GOG gal.


Ricardo awoke just in time to see Gog's spaceship blast off into outerspace. He did not have the technical skills to build his own spaceship, but he was familiar with radio-frequency engineering so he developed a broadcast station that emitted a radio signal into outerspace requesting that the spaceship returns. Unfortunately, Gog had already entered her hibernation chamber. Ricardo lived the remainder of his life alone.

Meanwhile in the Andromeda Galaxy, on the tiny planet of Ookville, Gog was unconscious and suffering from Neurogentic shock, a side of effect of extreme long-term hibernation which had also caused her to become extremely hairy and resemble Pedobear. The Ooks took her to the Ook Hospital and began their Ook treatments. Gog eventually returned to her normal self, despite still being unconscious. However, the Ook doctors were not sure if she would ever wake up.
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Gog woke up.

She had been unconscious for 3 days. Upon her awakening, she noticed the familiar setting of a hospital. She wondered if perhaps she had dreamt up her insane space voyage. As she laid there, she began to become more aware of her surroundings. Everything was a bright white. Her sheets, her clothing, the walls, the ceiling. It hurt her eyes slightly. She listened to the beeping and humming of hospital equipment around her. An IV was attached to both of her arms. She looked out the window of her room and saw what looked like a scene from Futurama. She turned and looked towards the other window and saw humans equipped with clipboards and stethoscopes hustling about the hospital hallways. Instead of scrubs, everyone was wearing some type of compression clothing. They are all dressed identical, head-to-toe in dark grey with white diagonal lines across the torso. And in the center of their chests, a golden cross was placed.

Gog had little time to make sense of everything before a nurse began shouting way too loudly. "She has awakened! She has awakened!", the nurse repeated this frantically.

By the dozens, Ook doctors ran into Gog's room. Each as mystified as the next.

"The prophecy is true!" exclaimed the nurse.


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From the group of people, Slegab Yawbus (Sleigh-gob Yaw-bus, Bagels and Subway spelled backwards) stepped forward. Slegab Yawbus, an Ook maie who was 300 years old (Ooks live much longer than humans, sometimes going up to 1,000 years in age) had a beautifully chiseled face with gorgeous light blue eyes and brown hair. Slegab was beautiful, and as Gog looked around, she noticed that all the people in the room were staring at her with an anxious scrutiny. However, that wasn't the only thing that caught her attention. They were beautiful, all of them, but non held her breath like Slegab.

As he stepped forward Slegab was finally able to get a look at the person that had everyone so enthralled over. Once he was able to finally see, he stopped in his tracks. Before him was a beautiful creature sitting on a bed full of white satin sheets that seemed to give the creature an air of regality.

"I am Slegab, who might you be?" "I am Gog, you speak my language?" "Why of course, we Ooks take great pride in learning the many languages of the universe." "Why am I here? Where am I?" "My dear, you are in our emergency facilities, safe in Majook (mah-juke), the capital of Ookville. You are here because we felt you needed our assistance." "Thank you for helping me, but why are all of those people staring at me so intently?" "They think you are the one foretold in the prophecy. The prophecy declares that on a cool night such as this, that a fair beauty the likes of which no other has ever seen, would be saved by our people, and in return she would bestow upon us the greatest knowledge of the universe." "And....and do you think I'm the one mentioned in this prophecy? I...I can't be." "I don't know if you are the chosen one or not, but we shall find out."


It took less than a week for Gog to regain her strength. Though at first she was terrified of the Ook people, she begin to find them to be harmless. Friendly even. No one was as friendly as Slegab though. While everyone else made small talk and nursed her back to health, Slegab stayed with her for hours on end, talking and answering her many questions.

"What is this place?" Gog asked.
"This is Ookville" answered Slegab.

"How do we understand each other? Why do we look alike?"
"We are not as different as you might think."

"What the hell does that mean?!"
"Our God told us that he spread his seed over the entire Universe. He told us someone like you would come."

"What did he say the person like me would do??"
"Lead us."

"What? Lead you where??"
"Our God has not told us. Perhaps he will be able to answer you directly."

"He wishes to meet you tomorrow"

"Your God is alive?"
Slegab chuckles. "Of course Suess is alive"

"Do you mean Zeus?"
"SHHHHHHHHHHHH! Do not say that so loudly!"

"Huh what?"
"It is blasphemy to compare Dr. Suess to Zeus!"

"...uh, ok... It's just Zeus was a God on my world and Dr. Suess was a childrens book writer"

Slegab stormed out of the room, leaving Gog thoroughly confused. Nonetheless, Gog fell asleep and dreamed of home. She dreamed of the good ole days back on Earth.

Gog was awoken suddenly and whisked out of the hospital by a plethora of large men in black clothing. Gog couldn't help but eye the gun-like weapons attached to their belts. Though terrified, she felt slightly comforted with Slegab by her side, despite him becoming upset with her last night. They both hopped into a hovercraft and it ascended into the air.

"Listen Gog", Slegab whispered, "You'll find it your best interest to be as respectful as possible to Dr. Suess"
"I don't....", Slegab cut her off
"Just do as your told"


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Approximately 20 minutes later, Slegab and Gog arrived at the building where Dr. Suess watched over his beloved city of Majook as well as presided over the council in charge of governing all of Ookville.

Gog: "What now?"
Slegab: 'Just follow me, and DO NOT wander off. The last thing I need is for the person who fit our greatest prophecy, to be killed by the guards that watch over the head government building".
Gog; "They wouldn't really kill me would they, just for seeing me?" But she already knew the answer to her question by the scathing glare he gave her.

As Gog walked through the building, following closely behind Slegab, she looked around at the beautiful design of the building. The walls were a tan color. Intricate scroll-work appeared to be etched into the walls in various places, almost as if they were quotes. The navy blue trimming lined with gold, beautifully accented the walls. Every few paces there were also pictures lining the walls, and according to Slegab, the people in the pictures were current and former government officials. The floors appeared to be a sort of emerald colored marble.

After working their way through the building Slegab and Gog came to a door that appeared to be made of cherry oak wood. Slegab stopped just before the door and turned to Gog.

Slegab: "From this point, I cannot go with you. Our leader, our god, Dr. Suess has explicitly asked for only you, and therefore I shall wait outside the door to await your return."
Gog: "Wait, what? I have to meet your leader alone? But what if I mess up?" As she finished talking, Gog could have sworn she saw a hint of amusement in Slegab's eyes, but it was gone just as quickly as it had come.
Slegab: "Don't worry about it. Our leader is kind and just. However, do keep in mind one important thing. Do not say a thing about his hats, he takes great offense to people who mock him.
Gog: "His hats? Why would I say anything about his hats?" Slegab smirked a little at that.
Slegab: "You'll see, now go, it is best that we don't keep him waiting."


Gog pushed open the cherry oak wood door to find complete darkness. Dr. Suess' room was completely void of light. But after opening the door a bit more, Gog saw a slight glimmer of light in the back of a gigantic hall. She hesitantly entered the room, and Slegab closed the doors behind her quicker than she had liked. Darkness surrounded her, and the tiny glimmer of light beckoned for her to walk forward. As she got closer to the light, she began to recognize the shape of a desk, and then she saw the very lamp which emitted the only light in the Dark Hall of Dr. Suess. Then she saw man behind the desk. A slender figure in a grey suit wearing what must of been a 5 foot tall hat was waiting patiently as she walked closer.

The man spoke thus, "i've heard you came far... girl from the stars.... so tell me my girl, on your world, are their squirrels? And if you dare lie, you surly will die. so please be sincere or your death may be near."

"ummm...are your Dr. Suess?"

"I suggest you answer my question girl", The man behind the desk spoke/

Gog was confused but answered, "Yeah there are squirrels on my world, why?"

"You will be dismissed if you don't riddle me this. When the mice chase the cats, do the cats run like rats?"

Gog thought about the riddle for awhile, "..ummm No. Cats kill mice on my planet."

"Very good", Dr. Suess answered. "You have come from Earth. Have you not?"

"yes! how did you know!", Gog responded excitedly after hearing her former planet's name.

"You are familiar with the animals of Earth. Nobody on Ookville could have answered that riddle as flawlessly as you did."

"Why are you here, Dr. Suess? You were a childrens book writer on Earth. I was alive when you died, but here you are..... a God...on Ookville?

"My child, I never died on Earth. I simply left when Earth no longer satisfied my needs. There are many others like me. Just to name a few, Walt Disney, Dwight Eisenhower, Charles Chaplin, Charlie Sheen. They all serve on my council here on Ookville."

"...I don't understand"

"It will all make sense in time"

Dr. Suess motioned for Gog to leave.

Gog wasted no time and began walking back towards the doors of the hall. The doors opened before she got there and Slegab was there to welcome her. Gog was relieved to see Slegab and she embraced him as he closed the doors behind her. Gog did not like Dr. Suess.
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"So did he tell you about the whole prophecy thing?", Slegab asked.

"Shit!", Gog cursed, "I totally forgot to ask".

Slegab's face smushed together in the way a confused child often does. "That was a pretty important thing to forget about."

"I knowwwwwww", Gog moaned with diassapointment, "Dr. Suess was just so intimidating! I couldn't think straight!"

"Well I suppose I could tell you...Long ago, Dr. Suess prophesied that a stranger from another world would visit us. He said the stranger would save us from invasion of the Lorax."

"The Lorax?", Gog asked in utter confusion.

"Yes, The Lorax. They inhabit the nearby planet of Truffula. They have never been friendly towards us, and we have never been friendly towards them, but never before have we had reason to suspect they would attack us, not until you arrived"

"I came here on accident!", Gog exclaimed.

"Nonetheless, you came here. And the prophecy states you will help us defeat the upcoming Lorax invasion."


At that very moment, sirens began to blare loudly over the serene city of Majook. Gog looked to Slegab for answers and by the expression on his face, she knew something serious was happening. Just then, Dr. Suess' cherry oak door slammed opened and Dr Suess came sprinting out. "STOP YOUR BABBLING, THE UNTHINKABLE IS HAPPENING!!!", He screamed as he ran past them. When he realized Slegab and Gog were not moving he hollered back over his shoulder, "NO TIME TO WALLOW, YOU TWO MUST FOLLOW!!" They quickly began to follow suit, the blaring sirens growing louder as they raced towards the outside. Then a strange new whistling noise began to overpower the sirens. It lasted for only a few seconds before the violent explosion.


Unconscious and lying beneath a light layer of rubble and within a cloud of blinding dust, Gog happily dreamt of her distant past. She was back on Earth, talking to her friends in the hallways of her old school. It was many years before the virus killed everyone except her and Ricardo. Everyone was happy. Everything was normal. She walked into her first period English class and saw the familiar face of her favorite teacher, Mrs. Miller. The bell rang and the students took to their seats. Gog stationed herself at the front of the classroom like the good student she was. Then Mrs. Miller pulled out a Dr. Suess book. Gog squirmed in her seat, fearing the book but not knowing why. And then the usually placid and dignified teacher began to spit Dr Suess Fire Raps. The dream wasn't making any sense to Gog but she knew she did not like it.

Giant mechanic claws squeezed through the rubble and tightened around Gog's body. The rubble was falling off her as she regained consciousness. She looked around but saw nothing except the dust cloud and then she notcied the claws around her body. She realized she was in the air but was in no shape to fear. Eventually, she gathered that the claws were raising her up somewhere but the dust blocked her view of where exactly. Finally, the ship began to show itself. It was an absolutely mammoth engineering marvel that could rival the entire city of Majook in size. Painted on the bottom in giant orange letters, it said simply "LORAX".
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The claws raised her through the spaceship doors and Gog layed her eyes upon the Lorax people. There were thousands of them, all seemingly a different color. They looked like a bowl of furry skittles. And all of the furry little skittles had cute little eyes and each one of them followed Gog. The claws dropped her gently to the floor of the Lorax spaceship and before Gog could do anything, another door opened and another claw brought up another person......Dr. Suess. The Lorax Skittle people gasped at this sight, but before they could finish their physical expression of awe, yet another door opened and yet another claw raised up yet another person into the spaceship.

It's Slegab!, Gog thought to herself excitedly, but refusing to show any sign of relief in front of these strange creatures in this bizarre situation she was in.

Slegab sees her immediately. The eye contact Gog and Slegab make in this moment is super hot. Whitney Houston isn't actually there but we can hear her singing softly in the background while the two lovebirds gaze into each others eyes.

Gog and and Slegab begin to frolick towards each other, uncaring to the fact they are surrounded by a giant throng of strange furry skittle creatures. The whitney houstan song hits it's climax.

Dr. Suess pulls out a laser gun and shoots Gog in the stomach, disintegrating her in the process. He then turns towards Slegab and disintegrates him as well.

William Shakespeare appears from the back of the room. The Lorax skittle creatures spread apart like he is Moses and they are a rainbow colored sea.

"Let's settle this once and for all", Shakespeare declares prominently.

"Bring it oldman", Dr. Suess responds.

They then have an epic rap battle to decide the future of the Andromeda Galaxy.


William Shakespeare wins handily. The Lorax skittle people and William Shakespeare surround Dr. Suess until he stands mere inches from the open sky door he was brought up through.

William smugly looks Dr Suess up and down. "I hath just one thing to say to..."

Before Bill can finish speaking, Dr. Suess grabs Shakespeare and throws both of them through the sky door. It's kinda like that one move noobs would do with the Donkey Kong character in Super Smash Bros.