The Weekly Chow: The Houdini

Chow Time

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Well. Well. Well.

In a shocking turn of events, it would appear that The Weekly Chow has finally found a sponsor. Don't mind us, we've wasted no time in exhausting every penny. Current expenditures:
  • $185,000 - Alcohol, Weed, Cigarettes
  • $90,000 - Blow, Molly, Mushrooms
  • $60,000 - War Packs
  • $45,000 - Swedish Prostitutes
  • $40,000 - Baestyles Simp Money

    Oh, we've also picked up a new HQ and expanded the staff.
We'd like to dedicate this post to Sleepy Joe, LLoyd, and Trex. We're not sure whether or not you previously soiled your boxers every time you looked to the northwest, but you certainly will now.

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Let's Chow Down.

Chapter 6: The Big Oops
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Black woke up in his EU apartment a tad less drunk than usual. His head pounding, he scanned the externals before facetiming bold. "Bruhhhhhhhhh" slurred bold as flashing strobes illuminated the San Francisco nightlife behind him. "We have a problem" was black's response as he forwarded Gossip Girl's forum post. "We forgot that all K44 players were supposed to be push accounts!"

Bold fumbles his phone face down onto the slimy club floor while trying to click the link. To his and his friends' surprise, a scantily clad hostess dressed in red, white, and blue appears from the racially monochromatic crowd and bends over to pick it up. As she reaches her hand out and turns over the phone, a single look at Black's modelesque appearance causes her knees to buckle. She runs off, clouded by thoughts of her past inadequate lovers. "**** not again" echoed from the phone as it once again falls to the floor.

After finding his bearings, bold manages to regain consciousness in addition to control of his phone. "Bro you really gotta stop talking to 6's." black exclaimed, "You know that anyone less than a 7 is genetically incapable of laying their eyes on me. It's like bird box. Did you get a chance to peep the account yet?" *Bold musters up what he can through his intoxicated vision*


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Bold: "Oh ****, what have we done! We need to shut off the nexus defense script asap. You made this thing, you're the only one who knows how to kill it."

Black: "Au revior, mon amore"


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Chapter 7: Sike, That's the Wrong Number

We've said it before and we'll say it again. We haven't been playing for the points, we haven't been playing for the rewards, and we sure as hell haven't been playing to win. That being said, it seems that no matter how hard we try, we're getting all that anyway.

That's because we're here for The Prestige.
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That's right. Now, you're probably all wondering:
Is this the end of Chow Time's unbiased, undiscriminating, hilarious content? Will they just become another propaganda piece in Kek's pocket?
This answer is of course, yes.

Chapter 8: World One Two Zero Review

We made a few technical mistakes in our first world review, so let's run it back. Shall we?

This world is a little tough to break down as there's a lot of competition. We've gone ahead and highlighted all of the relevant tribes in EN120 below on this world map. In addition, we also went ahead and highlighted all of our push accounts in light blue for color commentary. Rage, we've added you again as well. It just felt right.

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On the low, KEK is the most dominant tribe we here at the chow have ever seen. 25/25? That's a 100%! My auntie would have karate kicked the lasagna right out of my gams if I ever came home with a score like that. "Y u No GeT oVeR oNe HuNdReD?" she'd shout. Unfortunately, in my home state, extra credit costs ... extra. Luckily we're funded now, so trust me when I say, we're working on it. Let's check in with Adnan on how we're gonna go about that:

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As you can see, K44 is getting quite thicc. If you aren't convinced of that yet, be sure to check out it's newest supporter. Before we go, let's take a quick look at how some of the other K's and Tribes are shaping up!
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Oof. That's tough buddy.

----------------------------------------------------------

This one was mainly just an announcement. Next week we're back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Let the meme war begin.

Water. Like. Comment. Subscribe. Bell

- nath
- bubu
- black
- bold
 
Last edited:

Deleted User - 848883978

Guest
you forgot to add this
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we're not friends anymore
 

Deleted User - 11134637

Guest
So no more biased towards my opinion unbiased reviews? i'm dissapointed

Jk, good post!
 
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