DeletedUser
Guest
Why is it like a morgue in here lately? Where has all the talking/spamming/flamming gone? :icon_cry: No war threads, There is nothing! Not even nudity! What has this forum turned into? :icon_eek:
DeletedUser
Guest
Why so serious?
There's nothing to worry about. It's just the new mod. Things are stricter, but still nicely moving. He gave the entire w19 a warning. People just like to listen in w19 (lolwut?).
There's nothing to worry about. It's just the new mod. Things are stricter, but still nicely moving. He gave the entire w19 a warning. People just like to listen in w19 (lolwut?).
DeletedUser
Guest
A new mod can't be the reason why the forums have gotten all dead and dry. There are like 10 people on at times and no-one posts. :S
DeletedUser
Guest
Well yeah... I guess...
DeletedUser
Guest
watch your back mark the mod is watching
pm me i think ive got a way to "take care of him"
(cant use white text for sum reason)
pm me i think ive got a way to "take care of him"
(cant use white text for sum reason)DeletedUser55895
Guest
lol evil conspiracy!! oh no run new mod! (i would say ur name but its too hard to remember)
DeletedUser
Guest
A new thread! some life finally i think we've all noticed this and damn has it been boring recently.
Don't think we can blame the new mod for this because he seems pretty sound and anyways it started whilst Wallam was mod and everyone loved Wallam :icon_biggrin:
Maybe we should get some more competitions, banter dedicated threads or peoples views of things threads going because right now anything is good!
i think we've all noticed this and damn has it been boring recently. Don't think we can blame the new mod for this because he seems pretty sound and anyways it started whilst Wallam was mod and everyone loved Wallam :icon_biggrin:
Maybe we should get some more competitions, banter dedicated threads or peoples views of things threads going because right now anything is good!
DeletedUser
Guest
Dispatcher: 911 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?
Dispatcher: 911 What is your emergency?
Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.
Dispatcher: Excuse me?
Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it!
Dispatcher: 911
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.
Dispatcher: 911 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.
Dispatcher: 911 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?
Dispatcher: 911 What is your emergency?
Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.
Dispatcher: Excuse me?
Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it!
Dispatcher: 911
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.
Dispatcher: 911 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.
Dispatcher: 911 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!
DeletedUser
Guest
I got mailed a joke i thought pretty funny
A man in London walked into the produce section of his local Tesco's supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask the manager about the matter.
Walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager, "some old ******* wants to buy a half a head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned around to find that the man was standing right behind him, so he quickly added, "and this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half."
The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way.
Later, the manager said to the boy," I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier, we like people who can think on their feet here, where are you from son?"
"New Zealand, sir," the boy replied.
"Why did you leave New Zealand ?" the manager asked.
The boy said "Sir, there's nothing but whores and rugby players there."
"Is that right? " replied the manager, " My wife is from New Zealand !"
"Really?" replied the boy, "Who'd she play for?"
A man in London walked into the produce section of his local Tesco's supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask the manager about the matter.
Walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager, "some old ******* wants to buy a half a head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned around to find that the man was standing right behind him, so he quickly added, "and this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half."
The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way.
Later, the manager said to the boy," I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier, we like people who can think on their feet here, where are you from son?"
"New Zealand, sir," the boy replied.
"Why did you leave New Zealand ?" the manager asked.
The boy said "Sir, there's nothing but whores and rugby players there."
"Is that right? " replied the manager, " My wife is from New Zealand !"
"Really?" replied the boy, "Who'd she play for?"
DeletedUser
Guest
Bill, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together and were
sharing a large suite on the top of a 75 story sky scraper.
After a long day of meetings they were shocked to hear that the
elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb
75 flights of stairs to get to their room. Bill said to Jim and
Scott, let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by
concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25
flights, and Jim can sing songs for 25 flights, and Scott can
tell sad stories the rest of the way. At the 26th floor Bill
stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor
Jim stopped singing and Scott began to tell sad stories. "I will
tell my saddest story first," he said. "I left the room key in
the car!"
sharing a large suite on the top of a 75 story sky scraper.
After a long day of meetings they were shocked to hear that the
elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb
75 flights of stairs to get to their room. Bill said to Jim and
Scott, let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by
concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25
flights, and Jim can sing songs for 25 flights, and Scott can
tell sad stories the rest of the way. At the 26th floor Bill
stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor
Jim stopped singing and Scott began to tell sad stories. "I will
tell my saddest story first," he said. "I left the room key in
the car!"
DeletedUser
Guest
I would find a reason to flame you mark, but how can I after the cool sig you made for bell and I
LOVERLOVER
Guest
Cause Drats got banned. That is it.
DeletedUser
Guest
Anyone do anything nice this Summer?
nasme
Guest
Ya, went to the mountains beach and all around my country, what about you?
and on topic to see something interesting in this world I think OFA should start a war, a big one, mabey agains brains to expand south, but OFA is the 2nd best tribe and like signos had no real wars, mabey magi, but then OFA was small no real AFO ect, it wasn't a 2nd ranked tribe war,
and on topic to see something interesting in this world I think OFA should start a war, a big one, mabey agains brains to expand south, but OFA is the 2nd best tribe and like signos had no real wars, mabey magi, but then OFA was small no real AFO ect, it wasn't a 2nd ranked tribe war,
DeletedUser
Guest
Where ye from? i went to the Canary Islands and went camping round the country with the guys and girls.
BONDED and/or O F A have to step it up and make an impact on this world, at least O F A had there war with MAGI and their scuffle with Signos
nasme
Guest
US is were I'm from, but ya they did have there minor wars each, but nothing major
DeletedUser
Guest
OFA are helping Brains against NIR atm with support and nukes, and bonded i think is still trying to kill T69T (lol)
and mark ive been trying to keep these forums on their toes, but i cant do it alone
and mark ive been trying to keep these forums on their toes, but i cant do it alone
DeletedUser50733
Guest
OFA are helping Brains against NIR atm with support and nukes, and bonded i think is still trying to kill T69T (lol)
and mark ive been trying to keep these forums on their toes, but i cant do it alone
Meh, seen a nice ODA jump for us yet? :icon_razz: And we are busy being inactive
I like it when nobody actually knows what we are doing but us lolAs for jokes:
The 6 Affairs:
The 1st Affair
A married man was having an affair with his secretary.
One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon.
Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.
The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and the dirt.
He put on his shoes and drove home.
'Where have you been?' his wife demanded.
'I can't lie to you,' he replied,
'I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon.'
She looked down at his shoes and said:
'You lying bastard! You've been playing golf !'
The 2nd Affair
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son.
They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.
The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.
He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.
He told his wife: 'There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?'
The wife smiled sweetly and replied: 'No, not this time!'
The 3rd Affair
A mortician was working late one night..
He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery.
Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!
'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part.. It must be saved for posterity..'
So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.
'I have something to show you won't believe,' he said to his wife, opening his briefcase.
'My God!' the wife exclaimed, 'Schwartz is dead!'
The 4th Affair
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.
'Hurry,' she said, 'stand in the corner.'
She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.
'Don't move until I tell you,' she said. 'Pretend you're a statue.'
'What's this?' the husband inquired as he entered the room.
'Oh it's a statue,' she replied. 'The Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too.'
No more was said, not even when they went to bed.
Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.
'Here,' he said to the statue, have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing.'
The 5th Affair
A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.
'Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent.'
'One Cent?' the man exclaimed.
He glanced at the menu and asked: 'How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?'
'A nickel,' the barman replied.
'A nickel?' exclaimed the man. 'Where's the guy who owns this place?'
The bartender replied: 'Upstairs, with my wife.'
The man asked: 'What's he doing upstairs with your wife?'
The bartender replied: 'The same thing I'm doing to his business down here.'
The 6th & Best Affair
Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.
He looked up and said weakly: 'I have something I must confess.'
'There's no need to, 'his wife replied.
'No,' he insisted, 'I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!'
'I know,' she replied. 'Now just rest and let the poison work
Taken from a good W26 friend :lol:
DeletedUser
Guest
haha those are clever and so funny!
Bigfeet15
Guest
lol nathan i have to agree thats all pretty funny
