Yo llama is so Fat



Short Llama Jokes
Q: What's llama's favourite film?
A: Llamadeus
Q: Who is the llama spiritual leader?
A: The Dalai Llama
Q: What's more amazing than a talking llama?
A: A spelling bee!
Q: Why did the llama cross the road?
A: Because it was the chicken's day off.
Q: What did the camel say to the llama?
A: Let me teach you how to spit.
Q: What did the llama have for dinner?
A: Llama-ables
Q: What do you get if you stand between two llamas?
A: llamanated
Q: What do you call a very fast llama?
A: a Llamagini
Q: What did the pellet say to the llama?
A: Don't eat me
Q: What did they llama say to the blade of grass?
A: Nice knawing you!
Q: What did the llama say to his friend?
A: Is your mama a llama?
Q: Why arn't llamas in rodeos?
A: `Cause they ain't ticklish!
Q: Why did the llama fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was dead
Q: What's the diffrenece between llamas and alpacas?
A: Alpacas have more dark meat!
Q: What do guard llamas tell their sheep around the campfire at night?
A: They tell each other scary llama stories.

Llama Bar Jokes
Lucky Llama
I took a day off work and decided to go out golfing. On the second hole I noticed a Llama standing next to the green. I thought nothing of it and was about to shoot when I heard the llama grunt, "9 Iron" The man looks around and doesn't see anyone and the llama grunted again "9 Iron." I looked at the llama and decided to prove him wrong, puts my other club away, and grabbed a 9 iron. Boom! I hit it 10 inches from the cup. I was shocked. I said to the llama, "Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky llama, eh?" The llama reply's "Lucky llama." I decided to take the llama with me to the next hole. "What do you think llama?" I asked. "3 wood." I took out a 3 wood and Boom! Hole in one. I was incredibly befuddled and didn't know what to say. By the end of the day, I golfed the best game of golf in my life and asks the llama, "OK where to next?" The llama grunted a reply, "Las Vegas." So, we go to "Las Vegas and I say, "OK llama, now what?" The llama grunted, "Roulette." Upon approaching the roulette table, the man asks, " What do you think I should bet?" The llama grunted, "$3000, black 6." Now, this is a thirty-six to one shot to win, but after the golf game, I figured what the heck. Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table. I took my winnings and bought the best room in the hotel. Once in the hotel room, I said "Llama, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful." "Just name it and it is yours." The llama grunted, "Kiss Me." I figured why not, since after all the llama did for me, he deserves it. With a kiss, the llama turns into a gorgeous 15-year-old girl. ".... And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room."

Night of Drinking
A man and his pet llama walk into a bar. It's about 5pm, but they're ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. Finally, the bartender says: "Last call." So, the man says, "One more for me... and one more for my llama." The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the llama falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave. The bartender, yells: "Hey buddy, you can't just leave that lyin' there." To which the man replies: "That's not a lion, that's a llama."

Front Seat
A policeman in the big city stops a man in a car with a llama in the front seat. "What are you doing with that llama?" He exclaimed, "You should take it to the zoo." The following week, the same policeman sees the same man with the llama again in the front seat, with both of them wearing sunglasses. The policeman pulls him over. "I thought you were going to take that llama to the zoo!" The man replied, "I did. We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!"