DeletedUser
Guest
Santa - Hello Rag
Rag - Hello? Who's this?
Santa - Santa...
Rag - Bollocks
Santa - Seriously
Rag - Why are you messaging me?
Santa - I saw a picture of your bottom and had to speak to you. It's the very personification of evolutionary perfection.
Rag - True. Then would you mind if I was to interview you? I'm after a journalistic position and this would be a real scoop.
Santa - Sure.
Rag - Cheers big ears. Or should that be big beard? lol
Santa - Eh???
Rag - Never mind. So do you prefer to be called Santa Claus or Father Christmas?
Santa - Neither.
Rag - Noel then?
Santa - No
Rag - So what then?
Santa - Greg
Rag - Santa Greg it is then mate.
Santa - No – just Greg.
Rag - Hmm. Very festive. So where did those other names come from then?
Greg - Those bloody English. They can’t get anything right.
Rag - WE INDUSTRIALISTED THE WORLD YOU INGNORANT PRAT!!!!!!!!!!
Rag - Sorry mate – I went a bit over the top there. I think you touched a nerve. So what have you been doing since Christmas?
Greg - Women.
Rag - You’ve been doing women?
Greg - Exclusively.
Rag - Charming. So how does an… elderly gentleman such as yourself go about such a feat?
Greg - I’m more famous than the Pope and, unlike him, available. I’m fighting them off.
Rag - Really? But I’ve seen pictures of you – your face looks like a ruptured testicle.
Greg - I’m gorgeous, a beardy sex god. An Adonis in a hat. You know that Mr Luva Luva song? It was written about me.
Rag - There have admittedly been a lot of songs written about you but I highly doubt that was one.
Greg - And You are Beautiful by that Christina Aguilera bint.
Rag - You’re talking rubbish mate.
Greg - Fascist!
Rag - How am I a fascist? If anything I’m being a faceist. Do you even know what a fascist is?
Greg - Yes.
Rag - Tell me what it means then
***5 minutes pass***
Greg - Dictator or Autocrat.
Rag - Did you look the answer up?
Greg - No
Rag - Then why the delay?
Greg - I was with one of my bitches.
Rag - You really are a delight aren’t you? A delight who seems to cum in less time than it takes to smoke a cigarette. I was really happy when you got in touch but you’re the biggest muppet I’ve ever met. I think we should end this interview now
Greg - Can I at least get more pictures of your bottom first?
Rag - Shut up.
Rag - Hello? Who's this?
Santa - Santa...
Rag - Bollocks
Santa - Seriously
Rag - Why are you messaging me?
Santa - I saw a picture of your bottom and had to speak to you. It's the very personification of evolutionary perfection.
Rag - True. Then would you mind if I was to interview you? I'm after a journalistic position and this would be a real scoop.
Santa - Sure.
Rag - Cheers big ears. Or should that be big beard? lol
Santa - Eh???
Rag - Never mind. So do you prefer to be called Santa Claus or Father Christmas?
Santa - Neither.
Rag - Noel then?
Santa - No
Rag - So what then?
Santa - Greg
Rag - Santa Greg it is then mate.
Santa - No – just Greg.
Rag - Hmm. Very festive. So where did those other names come from then?
Greg - Those bloody English. They can’t get anything right.
Rag - WE INDUSTRIALISTED THE WORLD YOU INGNORANT PRAT!!!!!!!!!!
Rag - Sorry mate – I went a bit over the top there. I think you touched a nerve. So what have you been doing since Christmas?
Greg - Women.
Rag - You’ve been doing women?
Greg - Exclusively.
Rag - Charming. So how does an… elderly gentleman such as yourself go about such a feat?
Greg - I’m more famous than the Pope and, unlike him, available. I’m fighting them off.
Rag - Really? But I’ve seen pictures of you – your face looks like a ruptured testicle.
Greg - I’m gorgeous, a beardy sex god. An Adonis in a hat. You know that Mr Luva Luva song? It was written about me.
Rag - There have admittedly been a lot of songs written about you but I highly doubt that was one.
Greg - And You are Beautiful by that Christina Aguilera bint.
Rag - You’re talking rubbish mate.
Greg - Fascist!
Rag - How am I a fascist? If anything I’m being a faceist. Do you even know what a fascist is?
Greg - Yes.
Rag - Tell me what it means then
***5 minutes pass***
Greg - Dictator or Autocrat.
Rag - Did you look the answer up?
Greg - No
Rag - Then why the delay?
Greg - I was with one of my bitches.
Rag - You really are a delight aren’t you? A delight who seems to cum in less time than it takes to smoke a cigarette. I was really happy when you got in touch but you’re the biggest muppet I’ve ever met. I think we should end this interview now
Greg - Can I at least get more pictures of your bottom first?
Rag - Shut up.
It was a bit weird though...