Mah witty joke!

Prizonerofwar

Guest
A fireman and a policeman died and both went to heaven where they were issued their wings with the warning that if they had even have one bad thought their wings would fall off.
Well, everything went well for some time then one day they passed a very attractive and well put together young lady.
As the fireman turned to watch her pass his wings fell off.
When he bent over to pick them up the policeman's wings fell off.
 

DeletedUser

Guest
Prizonerofwar said:
A fireman and a policeman died and both went to heaven where they were issued their wings with the warning that if they had even have one bad thought their wings would fall off.
Well, everything went well for some time then one day they passed a very attractive and well put together young lady.
As the fireman turned to watch her pass his wings fell off.
When he bent over to pick them up the policeman's wings fell off.
Click to expand...
Hahahaha :lol:
 

rbh135

Guest
George Bush has a heart attack and dies. Obviously he goes to hell, where the Devil is waiting for him.
'I'm not sure what to do,' says the Devil. 'You're on my list, but I have no room for you.
As you definitely have to stay here, I'm going to have to let someone else go.
I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you.
I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their
place. I'll even let you decide who leaves.'
George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed.
The Devil opened the first room. In it were Richard Nixon and a large pool of hot water.
He kept diving in and climbing out, over and over.
Such was his fate in hell.
'No!' said George. 'I don't think so, I'm not a good swimmer and don't think I could stay in hot water all day.'
The Devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing the hammer, time after time.
No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day.' commented George.
The Devil opened the third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a
spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while, and finally said 'Yeah, I can handle this.'
The Devil smiled and said, 'OK, Monica, you're free to go!'
 

DeletedUser45388

Guest
prizonerofwar said:
a fireman and a policeman died and both went to heaven where they were issued their wings with the warning that if they had even have one bad thought their wings would fall off.
Well, everything went well for some time then one day they passed a very attractive and well put together young lady.
As the fireman turned to watch her pass his wings fell off.
When he bent over to pick them up the policeman's wings fell off.
Click to expand...

haha1
 

DeletedUser

Guest
i know this is a bit out dated but i just got this from the tribe im in on the uk server

Three men - a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden and an
Aussie are all walking together one day..
They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
'I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes in total',
says the Genie.
The Canadian says, 'I am a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada '
POOF! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever fertile for farming.
Osama was amazed, so he said, 'I want a wall around Afghanistan , Palestine , Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Americans or Canadians can come into our precious land.'
POOF! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries.
The Aussie says, 'I am very curious.
Please tell me more about this wall.'
The Genie explains, 'Well, it's about 5,000 feet high, 5oo feet thick and completely surrounds the countries. Nothing can get in or out; it's virtually impenetrable.'
The Aussie sits down on his Harley , cracks a beer, lights a cigarette,
smiles and says,
'Fill the Bugger with water.'
 

rbh135

Guest
Here we go:

A man walked into a bar.

Ouch.

...



That sucked,so here's a blonde joke to make everyone happy.


There were three women trying to get into heaven, a brunette, a ginger, and a blonde. So God says, 'Okay, I'm going to tell you a 100 jokes, if you manage not to laugh at any of them, you can come into heaven.'

The ginger girl is a bit rubbish, and she laughs at the 3rd joke, so she gets sent to hell.

The brunette is slightly better, but laughs at the 50th joke and gets sent to hell.

Then, just as God is about to tell the 100th joke, the blonde starts laughing hysterically.

'Why the fuck are you laughing?' demands God, 'I haven't even told the joke you twat', so the blonde says:

'I just got the first one'


*tumbleweed rolls past*


Similarities between Michael Jackson and a PS2?

Both made of plastic and little kids turn them on.

Yes,you've heard it before.


erm...


I'm all out:icon_sad:
 

rbh135

Guest
gunju said:
Roy gimme more!
Click to expand...

wtf are you talking about:icon_eek:


A blonde, red head and brunette all walk into a bar. The bartender realizes they are underage and calls the police. So they run into an abandoned barn behind the bar and hide in 3 bags. The police start to search the barn for the 3 girls, but all he sees is the 3 bags labelled DOGS, CATS and POTATOES. So the one policeman kicks the bag of dogs and brunette screams "WOOF" and the policeman says "that must be a dog". Next, the policeman kicks the bag of cats and the red head screams "MEOW" and the policeman says "that must be a cat". Then the policeman kicks the bag of potatoes which contains the blonde inside. The blonde replies saying "..POTATOES.."




One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver.
She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so.
She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you."
He replies "BREASTS."


An Arab, Frenchman, American and a Mexican are riding down the highway. The Arab picks up an AK-47. He shoots a couple of rounds and then throws the gun out the window. The American asks him why he threw the gun out the window and the Arab says they have so many of those where he is from he doesn't care about what happens to them.

The Frenchman picks up a bottle of wine and drinks a little and throws it out the window. The American asks him why he tossed it. The Frenchman says they have so much of it where he is from he doesn't care what happens to it.

The American picks up the Mexican and throws him out the window.
 
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