DeletedUser
Guest
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a person was sober, not even a
[spoil]
[/spoil].
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that Budman soon would be there.
The TW Addicts were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of caps and backtimes danced in their heads.
And there Duke in there [spoil]
[/spoil], and I in my cap,
Had just settled our Drunk ass's down for a long winter’s nap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I stumbled from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I stumbled like a drunk,
Tore open the shutters and threw up all over the window.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my drunken eyes should appear,
But a miniature Truck, and eight tinny Helpers..
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be [spoil]
[/spoil].
More rapid than a shot of [spoil]
[/spoil] his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
"Now Budwieser! now, Miller! now, Corona and Dos Equis!
On, Pilsner! On, Rolling Rock! on, on Duff and Becks!
To the top of the toilet bowl! to the top of the wall!
Now Drink away! Drink away! Drink away all!"
As dry [spoil]
[/spoil] that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the truck full of Alcohol, and [spoil]
[/spoil] too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard in the other room
The [spoil]
[/spoil] and pawing of each little [spoil]
[/spoil].
As my head was spinning , and was falling down,
Down the driveway [spoil]
[/spoil] came with a bound.
He was dressed all in Red, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with alcohol stains and smells of [spoil]
[/spoil].
A bag of [spoil]
[/spoil] he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a [spoil]
[/spoil], just opening his sack.
His eyes-how they where Bloodshot! his dimples how Cheeky!
His skin were like roses, his nose like a rudolf!
His droll little mouth was drawn up to a bottle of Hefe Weisen,
And the beard of his chin was all covered in beer.
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath of [spoil]
[/spoil] swirled his head.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!
He was chubby and plump, a right Drunken old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a fall to the ground,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his [spoil]
[/spoil],
And filled all the stockings, then turned with a stumble.
And laying his hand on his escape plan [spoil]
[/spoil],
And giving a nod, up the Nose he rose!
He sprang to his [spoil]
[/spoil], to his team gave a Yell,
And away they all drove off like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all get drunk!"
Not a person was sober, not even a
[spoil]
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that Budman soon would be there.
The TW Addicts were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of caps and backtimes danced in their heads.
And there Duke in there [spoil]
Had just settled our Drunk ass's down for a long winter’s nap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I stumbled from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I stumbled like a drunk,
Tore open the shutters and threw up all over the window.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my drunken eyes should appear,
But a miniature Truck, and eight tinny Helpers..
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be [spoil]
More rapid than a shot of [spoil]
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
"Now Budwieser! now, Miller! now, Corona and Dos Equis!
On, Pilsner! On, Rolling Rock! on, on Duff and Becks!
To the top of the toilet bowl! to the top of the wall!
Now Drink away! Drink away! Drink away all!"
As dry [spoil]
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the truck full of Alcohol, and [spoil]
And then, in a twinkling, I heard in the other room
The [spoil]
As my head was spinning , and was falling down,
Down the driveway [spoil]
He was dressed all in Red, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with alcohol stains and smells of [spoil]
A bag of [spoil]
And he looked like a [spoil]
His eyes-how they where Bloodshot! his dimples how Cheeky!
His skin were like roses, his nose like a rudolf!
His droll little mouth was drawn up to a bottle of Hefe Weisen,
And the beard of his chin was all covered in beer.
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath of [spoil]
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!
He was chubby and plump, a right Drunken old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a fall to the ground,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his [spoil]
And filled all the stockings, then turned with a stumble.
And laying his hand on his escape plan [spoil]
And giving a nod, up the Nose he rose!
He sprang to his [spoil]
And away they all drove off like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all get drunk!"
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