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Ladles and Jellyspoons, I present a cautionary tale. The following excerpts have been taken from "The adventures of Baron Von Barbmunchausen" published by Klatschentrap Press.
"Modesty forbids individuals to arrogate to themselves great successes or victories, the glory of which is generally engrossed by, the commander - nay, which is rather awkward, by kings and queens who never smelt gunpowder but at the field-days and reviews of their troops; never saw a field of battle, or an enemy in battle array.
Many tales have been told of my tales of derring do, indeed, even the finest minstrels of KOMPLETTEÜBERTREIBUNGBURG have recanted my tales in song. I have travelled from the moon to the bowels of the earth and even, might I add, journeyed on the back of an eagle from Margate to the Americas. Nothing, however, could compare to my adventures against the fiercesome Barbarians.
All around me was a sea of grey. What need had I of liberating treasures from these cities (or were they Hamlets?), my old companion albrect (http://www.twstats.com/en37/index.php?page=player&mode=conquers&id=3553397)(that bloke who could carry loads of stuff) was, indeed old, and, might I add, lazy and, as such, had no interest in campaigning any longer. I decided that in the best interests of my Empire a better course of action would be to liberate the villages from their barbarian masters. I found this to be most agreeable to my constitution and my companions.
By simply riding on the back of a cannonball I was able to liberate every man woman and child from their opressors.
As that sea of grey turned to yellow I noticed my companions had followed me in my course of action and much around us had turned also to blue (whatever that means). There was also some brown that I saw but that didn't matter because I had not noticed any red.
This continued for some time and my Empire grew and grew. It took some time as many of my liberated cities were small but what did that matter for it was my Empire and mine alone??
One day I was shocked to find that I was at war. Now I had to learn what war was. In my haste to build my Empire I had not learned to snipe for I had my old friend Aldolphus (you know, him wot could shoot things from quite some distance) and anyhow, my other companion Gustavus (that wee lad who had quite a set of lungs on him) could simply repel my attackers by simply blowing them away. If all else failed perhaps Bertholdt (he could run really fast) might be able to do something.
Or so I had surmised.
An overwhelming sea of red had surrounded me and one by one my villages were taken from me. How I longed for that whale of old to swallow me and the extradite me to more pleasant lands.
As time passed I found that I there was no respite until I at last, unkempt and unshaven succumbed to the barbarians myself. Some might say I had been Busted (groan)"
Are there lessons to be learned from this tale?? Discuss!!
"Modesty forbids individuals to arrogate to themselves great successes or victories, the glory of which is generally engrossed by, the commander - nay, which is rather awkward, by kings and queens who never smelt gunpowder but at the field-days and reviews of their troops; never saw a field of battle, or an enemy in battle array.
Many tales have been told of my tales of derring do, indeed, even the finest minstrels of KOMPLETTEÜBERTREIBUNGBURG have recanted my tales in song. I have travelled from the moon to the bowels of the earth and even, might I add, journeyed on the back of an eagle from Margate to the Americas. Nothing, however, could compare to my adventures against the fiercesome Barbarians.
All around me was a sea of grey. What need had I of liberating treasures from these cities (or were they Hamlets?), my old companion albrect (http://www.twstats.com/en37/index.php?page=player&mode=conquers&id=3553397)(that bloke who could carry loads of stuff) was, indeed old, and, might I add, lazy and, as such, had no interest in campaigning any longer. I decided that in the best interests of my Empire a better course of action would be to liberate the villages from their barbarian masters. I found this to be most agreeable to my constitution and my companions.
By simply riding on the back of a cannonball I was able to liberate every man woman and child from their opressors.
As that sea of grey turned to yellow I noticed my companions had followed me in my course of action and much around us had turned also to blue (whatever that means). There was also some brown that I saw but that didn't matter because I had not noticed any red.
This continued for some time and my Empire grew and grew. It took some time as many of my liberated cities were small but what did that matter for it was my Empire and mine alone??
One day I was shocked to find that I was at war. Now I had to learn what war was. In my haste to build my Empire I had not learned to snipe for I had my old friend Aldolphus (you know, him wot could shoot things from quite some distance) and anyhow, my other companion Gustavus (that wee lad who had quite a set of lungs on him) could simply repel my attackers by simply blowing them away. If all else failed perhaps Bertholdt (he could run really fast) might be able to do something.
Or so I had surmised.
An overwhelming sea of red had surrounded me and one by one my villages were taken from me. How I longed for that whale of old to swallow me and the extradite me to more pleasant lands.
As time passed I found that I there was no respite until I at last, unkempt and unshaven succumbed to the barbarians myself. Some might say I had been Busted (groan)"
Are there lessons to be learned from this tale?? Discuss!!
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