Vane's War


This is silly rim business intended for entertainment purposes only. Any actions in this post are neither recommended nor encouraged and could be detrimental to your community standing. Furthermore, CaptainVane does not condone any action taken upon viewing any of the content and will not be liable for any losses, damages or penalties received. This thread is pretty lengthy so don't read this unless you have time to kill. You've been warned.

BlackPlague1791 is a simple man, a family man. He is loyal to his friends and tribemates. He believes scouting is an act of war. He believes in crushing his enemies to the ground, so long as they are low point, tribeless players. Anyone who could remotely be construed as a threat, he believes in recruiting, merging, allying, or NAPing. TribalHugs4lyfe yo. He was the leader of C.O.R (Children of Rome) and he believes that CaptainVane is his sworn enemy.

Our story begins with a single scout. Returning to this game after a very long hiatus (maybe 10 years?), I had not yet realized that TW had sold out and allowed you to simply buy your way to victory. I was still operating under the "old ways" where you would actually launch scouts at surrounding villages and then farm them for resources. I sent a single scout at him, and just about everyone else in my 50x50 the day I got my first scout recruited.

His response to an incoming attack? Recruit me of course...

I say what the heck and join up because I needed to do the TW quests for rewards and did not yet know his favorite flavor of crayon was Tropical Rain Forest. Reminds him of that camp his parents sent him to before they had the words to explain to him how truly "special" he was and wanted him to be in a safe place with his peers. But I digress.

All the while we had this exchange:

(bottom to top)


So he gets mariana trench deep with me, with his "a wise man once told me your enemy is always your strongest ally" quote, to which I immediately let him know "I'll be your strongest ally" aka your enemy. Live replay of his reading this:


Two and a half hours after inviting me, he gives me the boot. Oh no!1!!!1

Why you might ask? Well because I scouted someone else the day before joining the tribe and as you have already learned, scouting is an act of war! Shame on me for scouting potential resources while tribeless and not anticipating who I may become allies with later!



(Note: Mad paint skillz, no big deal)

So we now have a one man war, CaptainVane vs all the might of the Roman empire. Just the way BlackPlague1791 likes it!

We exchange a couple scouts back and forth, he rants about me in his tribe forum and enlists help to destroy me. His buddy Joed06 attacks me and I dodge. I've been playing for a week, I'm trying to grow, not waste troops and resources on some glue eater's nobleless "war". I put my head down and grow. I plot and I wait. I have been playing TW since W4, tribes like this always fizzle out but I'm going to give them a little push. I enlist spies. They send me this:


So they plan on smashing me to pieces with their non-existent cats and bringing me to the "GROUND". Coolstorybro.jpg. Then my spy shares this juicy bit:

Turns out BlackPlague scouted some 300 point tribeless guy who responded by clearing him. Topkek. His guard dog Joed06 was having some trouble as well:

I figured, hey why not make it worse?

No wall to destroy but at least I can smack the farm with Cats. It's slow and I'm bored. Messing with these guys is the most fun I've had so far this world. But the best part of all of this is that while I'm attacking Joed, I'm talking to him. Telling him how I've got spies in his tribe, his leader is clueless, it's all over basically. He runs and tells Blackplague this, as predicted.


As always, BlackPlague:

Though he is a master wordsmith, the dread and uncertainty grows in his heart. 12 minutes later:

And runs away, abandons his village and restarts literally as far away from me as possible. Smart move, for once.

CaptainVane: 1
BP and COR: 0

I hope you all enjoyed this half as much as I enjoyed doing it and if you didn't, well I warned you in the disclaimer.

The Barkeep

For funsies of course. IT was more of a yeah this is cool but how big of a troll are you actually. No hate intended

sidd 271

Contributing Poster
Reaction score
It may be troll may be not. But it's still a cool read. And he never bragged that he can take down any tribe solo.