Funny Player Profiles

DeletedUser

Guest
An active player.Loyal to my Friends and Tribe. Getting merciless and aggressive when hungry for resources.

Now: Living in 2x2 of my village is forbidden. I recommend you do not waste yours and my time.
all you can do is just Press Restart




Couldn't help but laugh at this...
 

DeletedUser

Guest
found this on someones profile I know its old but...

You know you live in 2007-08 when...
1. You go to a party, sit down and take MySpace pics.
2. You havent played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/MSN/Facebook or YouTube.
4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.
6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.
7. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.
8. You think about how stupid you are for reading this.
9. You were too busy (or stupid)to notice number five.
10. You actually scrolled back up to check if there was a number five.
11. And now you're laughing at your stupidity.
Click to expand...

I dont know if I should put the name of the player or what :icon_redface:
 

DeletedUser

Guest
I'm a chatty guy. Some people hate to see a full inbox, but to me, I see hours of conversations ahead ;)



TW School - How to Play Like The Veterans

Want to come home from nursery and own those stupid adults? Too complex for the simple TW playing style? Can't be bothered checking the Help section?

Fear not! In this simple guide, everything you need to know about TW will be condensed into a small, neat package, with easily processable information.

Lesson One - Joining a tribe

Well, you've started a new world, and, by following a later lesson that I will come onto, upgraded your headquarters for maximum points. What better to do than join a tribe?

Firstly, look in the rankings, and see which tribes are the highest. This means they are the best, especially if they appear to be recruiting. Next, actually go on individual tribes profiles. If they have any ASCII art, this is a good sign. A few overused war quotes also means that the tribe is fearless and warrior like. The name can also mean a lot, so, for example, if a tribe has "Elite" in their name, they will obviously be elite.

Now, you have decided which tribe you want to join. For the guides sake, let's say the mighty[ally]WHY[/ally] attract your interest.
How do you get their attention?

Well, after intensive research, we found that repeatedly mailing the leader is the most effective method. It helps if the subject is called "Hi" as well. In the mail, you should try to make it as short as possible, therefore, no past experience should be included. Another sure fire way to ensure you get in is to ignore the rules of spelling and grammar.


Lesson 2 - Your Village
Now that you are in a mighty tribe, what to do?

First, start off by upgrading your village headquarters until you run out of resources. As soon as this happens, ignore the fact that free trading does not exist and that no-one has a market yet, and use your points to blackmail those around you into sending you resources.
Now, as soon as you have got more resources, continue to upgrade your village headquarters, and possibly build a market as well. You don't need to use any resources on building a wall, because, after all, who would dare to attack you?! Points are power. Anyone who claims otherwise will be a so called "veteran". I will come onto these later.

Lesson 3 - The Growing Problem
OK. You've made yourself the biggest in your 5x5, apart from a stupid player who seems to be in a god damn premade. Obviously, they will fail faster than your elite tribe, mainly due to the fact that there is no mention of ASCII art, but you feel that your authority may actually be undermined by this joker. I mean, come on, what the hell? The world is so big, why does he want to invade your little friendly zone?

You log on, as usual, and after a quick upgrade of your village headquarters, you realise something.Your entire army is dead! Thats right. The unimaginable has came to pass. Your PALADIN has been....brutally killed. After cursing and slapping the keyboard a few times, you realise that this is not the best way to get things done. What DO you do?

Well, first of all, look in the "reports" section. Remember where you politely filled [ally]K44E[/ally]s inbox? Its next to that section. It should have a little scroll next to it, to show something has happened. Look who commited this terrible deed. Now, for revenge.

Firstly, rename your village from "LetsmaekBunnigoInEver1spr0fiel1!" and change it to " R.I.P Paladin" This will instantly let your attacker know what they have done was wrong. Now, mail the attacker. No need to be polite now. It's payback time. Let all your anger out - that your teacher called you a "bad boy", that you accidentally mistook your play dough as spaghetti, and ate, it and had to go to hospital- you get the picture. Send it to the attacker, and then start to work on your village headquarters once more. By growing in points, people will think you have LOTS of troops, and it may not happen again.



Be sure to keep checking for updates! :)







Quotes
zenron the great today at 17:29
I know you vaguely, you were in tehrim on w17. right?
b1gJul1 today at 17:30
You are gay.

[17:37:50] b1gJul1 says: That's proof Gangsterls is a spy from Asp. Dismiss him!

[player]King Matt II[/player] on the forums : Your in a pre-made tribe. >.>

Srsly? ;)



sacajaweeda said:
Hey I know! Lets rally together with all of our prepubescent angst and whine and complain to the mods about how unfair we think it is that we can't keep our name. We can surely win them over by pretending to not understand how anybody could possibly be offended by a word that clearly....CLEARLY means CAT to everybody who reads it. And then we should all point to other tribes that have bonafide 'naughty' words in their names. Obviously the mods have singled us out and are just coming down on us like a pack of jackbooted thugs just for the hell of it.
Click to expand...

[20:23:12] *** WindowWatcher ejected and banned b1gJul1 from this chat
***
[20:23:17] WindowWatcher says: Ha!
[20:23:19] WindowWatcher says: Pwned!


[18:02:36] LastFrigginAppartus says: But anyways, Nuke, talk to me when you can... I'll give you some advice about masterminding things.

[18:02:55] WindowWatcher says: You led Splat! right?
[18:03:00] LastFrigginAppartus says: Yes, I led Splat!
[18:03:08] WindowWatcher says:[18:02:36] LastFrigginAppartus says:But anyways, Nuke, talk to me when you can... I'll give you some advice about masterminding things.
[18:03:13] LastFrigginAppartus says: lol
[18:03:15] LastFrigginAppartus says: Asshole!
[18:03:15] WindowWatcher says: The 2 sentences don't go together.


Hmm....A lot to digest. I'm working on the player guide. It was inspired by Romeo X Juliets Troop guide, which explained why axes were good defenders etc. ;)
 

DeletedUser

Guest
^ Haha I remember that guide, I read it when I was looking at Meow's mem list >_<

Lol ---> "it clearly means cat" =P Should tell the mods to check out balls =D

R0flmao's profile is really really wierd....check it out, its a animated pic. Its making me feel sick ^_^

 
Last edited by a moderator:

King Matt II

Guest
poath said:
Should tell the mods to check out balls =D
Click to expand...

They have done, I asked the support mod if it was alright when they were forcing me to change our awesome profile. He said it was fine. :/
 

DeletedUser18970

Guest
WindowWatcher said:
I'm a chatty guy. Some people hate to see a full inbox, but to me, I see hours of conversations ahead ;)



TW School - How to Play Like The Veterans

Want to come home from nursery and own those stupid adults? Too complex for the simple TW playing style? Can't be bothered checking the Help section?

Fear not! In this simple guide, everything you need to know about TW will be condensed into a small, neat package, with easily processable information.

Lesson One - Joining a tribe

Well, you've started a new world, and, by following a later lesson that I will come onto, upgraded your headquarters for maximum points. What better to do than join a tribe?

Firstly, look in the rankings, and see which tribes are the highest. This means they are the best, especially if they appear to be recruiting. Next, actually go on individual tribes profiles. If they have any ASCII art, this is a good sign. A few overused war quotes also means that the tribe is fearless and warrior like. The name can also mean a lot, so, for example, if a tribe has "Elite" in their name, they will obviously be elite.

Now, you have decided which tribe you want to join. For the guides sake, let's say the mighty[ally]WHY[/ally] attract your interest.
How do you get their attention?

Well, after intensive research, we found that repeatedly mailing the leader is the most effective method. It helps if the subject is called "Hi" as well. In the mail, you should try to make it as short as possible, therefore, no past experience should be included. Another sure fire way to ensure you get in is to ignore the rules of spelling and grammar.


Lesson 2 - Your Village
Now that you are in a mighty tribe, what to do?

First, start off by upgrading your village headquarters until you run out of resources. As soon as this happens, ignore the fact that free trading does not exist and that no-one has a market yet, and use your points to blackmail those around you into sending you resources.
Now, as soon as you have got more resources, continue to upgrade your village headquarters, and possibly build a market as well. You don't need to use any resources on building a wall, because, after all, who would dare to attack you?! Points are power. Anyone who claims otherwise will be a so called "veteran". I will come onto these later.

Lesson 3 - The Growing Problem
OK. You've made yourself the biggest in your 5x5, apart from a stupid player who seems to be in a god damn premade. Obviously, they will fail faster than your elite tribe, mainly due to the fact that there is no mention of ASCII art, but you feel that your authority may actually be undermined by this joker. I mean, come on, what the hell? The world is so big, why does he want to invade your little friendly zone?

You log on, as usual, and after a quick upgrade of your village headquarters, you realise something.Your entire army is dead! Thats right. The unimaginable has came to pass. Your PALADIN has been....brutally killed. After cursing and slapping the keyboard a few times, you realise that this is not the best way to get things done. What DO you do?

Well, first of all, look in the "reports" section. Remember where you politely filled [ally]K44E[/ally]s inbox? Its next to that section. It should have a little scroll next to it, to show something has happened. Look who commited this terrible deed. Now, for revenge.

Firstly, rename your village from "LetsmaekBunnigoInEver1spr0fiel1!" and change it to " R.I.P Paladin" This will instantly let your attacker know what they have done was wrong. Now, mail the attacker. No need to be polite now. It's payback time. Let all your anger out - that your teacher called you a "bad boy", that you accidentally mistook your play dough as spaghetti, and ate, it and had to go to hospital- you get the picture. Send it to the attacker, and then start to work on your village headquarters once more. By growing in points, people will think you have LOTS of troops, and it may not happen again.



Be sure to keep checking for updates! :)







Quotes
zenron the great today at 17:29
I know you vaguely, you were in tehrim on w17. right?
b1gJul1 today at 17:30
You are gay.

[17:37:50] b1gJul1 says: That's proof Gangsterls is a spy from Asp. Dismiss him!

[player]King Matt II[/player] on the forums : Your in a pre-made tribe. >.>

Srsly? ;)





[20:23:12] *** WindowWatcher ejected and banned b1gJul1 from this chat
***
[20:23:17] WindowWatcher says: Ha!
[20:23:19] WindowWatcher says: Pwned!


[18:02:36] LastFrigginAppartus says: But anyways, Nuke, talk to me when you can... I'll give you some advice about masterminding things.

[18:02:55] WindowWatcher says: You led Splat! right?
[18:03:00] LastFrigginAppartus says: Yes, I led Splat!
[18:03:08] WindowWatcher says:[18:02:36] LastFrigginAppartus says:But anyways, Nuke, talk to me when you can... I'll give you some advice about masterminding things.
[18:03:13] LastFrigginAppartus says: lol
[18:03:15] LastFrigginAppartus says: Asshole!
[18:03:15] WindowWatcher says: The 2 sentences don't go together.


Hmm....A lot to digest. I'm working on the player guide. It was inspired by Romeo X Juliets Troop guide, which explained why axes were good defenders etc. ;)
Click to expand...



tribes with elite are never er elite i miss spelt that twice lol :icon_biggrin: but seriosly i have not known a tribe called elite or have that in their name to be good
 

chaos4037

Guest
From nick24191

Twelve ways Tribal Wars has ruined my life

1 - My children are now called 001 and 002.

2 - When I have to go out and hire a sitter, I get pissed if she hasn't built something by the time I get home.

3 - I get REALLY pissed if she's used my children to attack other households she has a personal vendetta against.

4 - Several times I've had to run out and inform the mailman that "scouting IS considered an attack!".

5 - At work I keep asking my boss to promote me to baron status.

6 - He also doesn't understand my desire to set up an "Academy Office" for people who want to work for us, but don't quite meet our requirements.

7 - I play on the computer soo much instead of working and taking care of home finances that my car just got nobled (er, I mean repossessed).

8 - My best friends no longer have easy to remember names like Ed or Steve but rather sound like characters you'd expect to meet in some Rocky Horror meets Lord of the Rings post-apocalyptic world.

9 - My wife gets pissed when I refer to her as the paladin when I send her out to replenish our groceries.

10 - My mate asked me to help him in a fight - it took me seven hours to arrive.

11 - I got thrown out of a shop when I tried to explain that a ratio of 1 pen for 3 dollars is unacceptable.

12 - I got arrested because i told the government their ratio of axes(marines) to lc(fighter jets) to rams(tanks) was wrong
 

chaos4037

Guest
From Elemblue

This is a test. If you can read this, you are a speed reader.



Cna yuo raed tihs?
Olny 55% of plepoe can.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I
cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht
I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig
to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,
it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr
the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny
iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit
and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you
can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos
not raed ervey lteter by istlef,
but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh?
yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling
was ipmorantt!

fi yuo cna raed tihs, palce it in yuor porfiel
 

44kevin44

Guest
Respect is a must.
Respect your tribe-mates,
Respect your allies,
Respect your enemies,
Respect all other players,
Respect your parents!
Click to expand...
Hehe respect your parents, what?
 

DeletedUser

Guest
This made my day reading this one


I ain't gonna be an idiot, and tell you how I can take your village, and own your continent. I will however tell you, that I wish I was standing next to you so I could smack you in your computer nerd mouth. Give me your address, and make my dreams come true.........
 

DeletedUser

Guest
Tribe

Hello!
I Am Going Too Start A Tribe, But I Need Names, Members,Allies Ect Ect...

YOU MUST BE CLOSE TOO ->(246|477) K42

If You Are Mail Me.

Now I Am Looking For Members And I Have Ranks...

RULER/FOUNDER(ME)
DIPLOMAT;
HEAD BARON
BARON(CAN BE 3 OF THESE)
HEAD OF WARFARE
HEAD OF RECRUITMENT
Recruitment Officer(Can Be 2)
GENERAL(Can BE Any Number)
LORD(Any Other Members)


So Basically Theres Millions Of Oppertunities In My Tribe...
No Refugees
No Point Whores

And You Must Be Willing Too Support Each Other.. Thanks
Scott Kincaid
 

DeletedUser

Guest
kk. im gonna mix in here!

ஜ۩۞۩ஜஜ۩۞۩ஜஜ۩۞۩ஜஜ۩۞۩ஜஜ۩۞۩ஜஜ۩۞۩ஜஜ۩۞۩ஜஜ۩۞۩ஜஜ۩۞۩ஜஜ۩۞۩ஜ

If i am attacking you and you don't like it. TOUGH. join http://www.tribalhugs.net/ if you don't want to be attacked.

Other wise follow these directions carefully

/´¯/)...........(\¯`\
/....//.............\\....\
/....//...............\\....\
/´¯/..../´¯\.........../¯`\....\¯`\
/./.../..../..../.|_....._|.\....\....\...\.\
(.(....(....(..../.)..)...(..(.\....)....)....).)
\................\/.../...\...\/................/
\.................../.....\.................../
\................./.......\................./


F**K OFF

ஜ۩۞۩ஜஜ۩۞۩ஜஜ۩۞۩ஜஜ۩۞۩ஜஜ۩۞۩ஜஜ۩۞۩ஜஜ۩۞۩ஜஜ۩۞۩ஜஜ۩۞۩ஜஜ۩۞۩ஜ
 

DeletedUser

Guest
I tried starting a tribe named Mass.Debaters the coa was lotion and tissues and the profile was "for players that take a hands on approach" it didnt go well......
 

DeletedUser

Guest
i think my play profile is pretty funni xD

1. "The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations."

2. "The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his."

3. "Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."

4. "Why does the Air Force need expensive new bombers? Have the people we've been bombing over the years been complaining?"

5. "We, the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have now done so much for so long with so little, we are now capable of doing anything with nothing."

6. "My rule is: If you meet the weakest vessel, attack. If it is a vessel equal to yours, attack. And if it is stronger than yours, also attack."

7. "We are not retreating—we are advancing in another direction."

8. “There is no problem that cannot be solved by the use of high explosives.”

9. “A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.”

10. “I am prepared to die, but there is no cause for which I am prepared to kill.”

11. “Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy”

12. ”If the enemy is in range, so are you.”

13. “Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.”

14. “Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire.”

15. “Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.”

16. “Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at.”

17. “If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.”

18. “Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.”

19. “Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.”

20. “Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.”

When I take action, I'm not going to fire a 2 million dollar missile at a 10 dollar empty tent and hit a camel in the butt. It's going to be decisive. --
***
Men love war because it allows them to look serious. Because it is the one thing that stops women from laughing at them.
***
 

DeletedUser

Guest
Beer contains female hormones!
Last month LSU scientists released the results of a recent analysis
that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should
take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is beer
contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens); therefore,
by drinking enough beer, men can turn into women!
To test the theory, 100 men each drank 8 pints of beer within a one-
hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:
1. Argued over nothing.
2. Refused to apologize when obliviously wrong.
3. Gained weight.
4. Talked excessively without making sense.
5. Became overly emotional.
6. Couldn't drive.
7. Failed to think rationally.
8. Had to sit down to urinate.
No further testing was considered necessary.
_____________________________________________________

♪ This is this cat. ♪
♪ This is is cat. ♪
♪ This is how cat. ♪
♪ This is to cat. ♪
♪ This is keep cat. ♪
♪ This is a cat. ♪
♪ This is dumbass cat. ♪
♪ This is busy cat. ♪
♪ This is for cat. ♪
♪ This is forty cat. ♪
♪ This is seconds cat. ♪

now read the 3rd word of every sentence
 

DeletedUser

Guest
Tribal Wars Humor​
​
​
Here's what really happened in WWII:

Germany nobled Poland.

England broke their NAP with Germany.

England and allies defend from Germany, but suffer heavy losses as Germany has level 3 rams.

France got nobled.

Japan decided to scout USA.

USA got angry, and sent a couple 10k axeman nukes at them, with 1k catapults for giggles.

America cut Japan to 90 points.

Germany sent a noble train at Russia, gets loyalty down to 1.

Russia builds up troops with their lvl 30 resources and lvl 25 barracks before the noble train can hit again. Walls go back up to 20.

Nobles all destroyed, Germany just sends troops although it is clear they cannot take Russia. Eventually troops run out, Russia can produce them faster.

Russia and Britain/USA simultaneously hit Germany with their own noble trains.

Hitler deleted his account...​
 
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