The Robbers and the Penguins


A Brief History of the Penguins and the Robbers
With sincere apologies to Lewis Carroll

"The time has come," the penguins said,
To talk of many things:
Of love, and war, alliances,
Of the world and who are kings
And why the time is here right now
to free the penguin’s wings.

The Robbers


In the world of Robber-Barons,
Rax performed a feat:
Swordmen were trained, and Spearmen
The Axemen were claimed elite-
And this was odd, because, you know,
Barbs haven’t any D.


Four dozen fat barbs fell to them,
And yet another four;
And thick and fast they came at last,
And more, and more, and more--
Although there were, at least,
Their best attempts to war.

The Penguins


In PITA-land the penguins roam
And frolic on the beach.
A pleasant place, a pleasant space,
And playful, joking speech
Though in times of war, they were
First into the breach.


Solidarity was lost,
Happy Face was dead,
Shaving had been tried and failed-
Birds don’t Shave their head,
And noble though their fighting was
The Wolves’ caves had been fled.

End of the Alliance

The Robbers and the Penguins,
Allied a while or so,
But then their ways began to part:
The cracks began to grow,
But still the little Robbers snuck
Snatching barbs in a row.

The Penguins tried to talk it out,
Although it was in vain.
It seems that sense and reasoning
Cause Robbers’ heads much pain:
“Down is up, and upside, down.”
Their logic was not sane.

The Robber Queen and Penguin Chief,
in dazzling array,
these gaping faults they tried to fix:
a bandaid every day.
Until, at last, it was the end;
they, partners, couldn't stay.

angry penguin.png

"A friendly war," the Penguins said,
"Is what we chiefly need:
Troops and Nobles, D, besides
Are very good indeed--
Now if you are ready, Robbers dear,
In a week we’ll start to feed."


And so it stands, alliance dropped,
And war is very near.
The preparations start today;
We’ve banished any fear.
Our win will give this world’s folk
One last cause to cheer.


Legal disclaimers (The small print)
If you are reading this forum post in error please stop now and log off your computer immediately. The penguins cannot be held responsible to any damage caused to any electrical or computer equipment during the reading of this thread.

This posting is official confirmation of the end of the alliance between gotrob (The Robbers) and PITA (The Penguins).

Subject to the terms of the original agreement a seven day cooling off period applies to the cessation of the alliance – we very much look forward to meeting the Robbers on the field of battle from 21:07:00 onwards on 10th July!


let the fun begin ;) good luck penguins good luck robbers i suppose the winner will be deemed as world winners


That was amazing. Well done Rascal, and good luck to the Robbers


When the declaration happens the bombay video will be released. Going to be hilarious.

Good luck gotrob, think you will need it ;)


sides are matched tbh so its all about skill and mind games ^^


You don't need to play mind games when you have skill.


Thank you Lewis Carroll for this poem you wrote for us. I am sorry they had to resurrect you just to write it for me, but I think it was worth it.

In game luck to us and general luck to everyone. Let's do it like it's supposed to be done - kill each other and have fun doing it !!!


Good luck to PITA, it sure will be fun and something this world has needed for awhile.


Nice work with the barb on the robbers sack ;)

Will be a great fight, the Unstoppable Penguins vs the Immovable Robbers.

Good luck to everyone, hopefully can keep this war page free of trolls?


The shock! The awe! The horror!

We never saw this coming! Oh wait....


Nice work with the barb on the robbers sack ;)

Will be a great fight, the Unstoppable Penguins vs the Immovable Robbers.

Good luck to everyone, hopefully can keep this war page free of trolls?

Let's hope so indeed! :)


hahahaha! this is so funny! no wonder the amount of viewers when i logged in was 53.

good luck to PITA and GotRob!


What a good war opener!

Hopefully this war wont be like the -34-/GotRob war with 17 different posts about different topics and the 2 tribes arguing...


-Archy (Geordie C)


A good thread and was amusing.

Both Tribes are well set up and will be interesting to see whats next.

Good luck to all and remember its just a game, so do not get personal (no trolling lol)


agreed, and tbh i have to admit i couldnt be bothered to read the whole first post, i skipped to the last stanza :D