Hi all,
A lot of crap gets said by all sides on this externals forum.
I decided to get rid of this burden that is this world( perhaps game aswell ) for a number of reasons.
Mostly was because I started to feel that if i ever met some of you in RL that i would be violent.
I don't like that because I know you all are good people and it was the game that makes you look like someone I would think of .... not sure what.
I know quite a lot of people have been wishing they could quit and get on with their life, or, not be attacked and be able to continue both the game and their life.
For me it was a matter of time that an op was started on me.
Not sure why mav and dom waited so long to attack me on the weekends, perhaps out of some respect, or because they forgot for a while, or perhaps didn't know that from friday till monday midnight i wasn't around.
Nobody likes sitting anymore, let alone has the time to, so it just sits there waiting to be found out and, bam.
So, in truth, as some have been saying here, it's because i was losing, for sure. I was going to lose more too, or keep fighting a battle to make it harder, but yes, I was going down to a lot attacks which you can take credit for.
If I was able to keep a connection and fight, who knows perhaps you could have beaten me anyway, or perhaps I would have done better, who knows.
Truthfully, it was the hate in me towards mav and dom that made me feel like i don't want to feel that tipped me over the line and I had to work out what to do. I don't want to hate you, i remember you as friends and it was killing me. I didn't want to hand my account over to my friends and make life a misery for them, when I know they truly want to leave aswell, each time a player leaves it makes it incrementally harder for those that stay.
I sent a mail stating how i was feeling and what i suggested that we just hit the delete together, so no-one feels the burden of the extra sits, make it easier for all to quit if that was what they wanted. Most that replied, I could sense they felt similar, and only a couple that replied, wanted to stay.
I was feeling such hate because i spent so much time on this game that it was going to go to waste. I guess that's how everybody feels as they start to go down the gurgler.
It also felt like I was, perhaps, going to be learning a bad life lesson, that to quit is to be a quitter, but I think that is for real things, such as never quitting on your family, or you friends or your town, or your studies, but to quit this game so you have time to devote to these things is a choice that would make life better.
Perhaps I could have learnt time-management...I thought i was doing OK, but not good enough.
It's late here, so not sure if i am explaining myself here very well.
I hope that those that are wishing that they could have their life back, choose this 'out' that i have provided.
To those that wish to stay, I hope you enjoy your time.
The thoughts of a smaller world were started by me, perhaps as some have said, that wouldn't work, maybe you are right, we don't know yet. I thought a world of this speed but limited continents would make a game of perhaps 6 months, where a lot of effort could be put in and then a result, verses the game we have here, where if we fight hard, will still have at least two, but i think more than five years to play and still be near no result.
Take this as a victory, you earned it. I think it's the game that has caused all the hatred between the people on this forum so think on that.
PZA7 put so much time into getting this tribe up and running and took it from a small tribe to take on the big guns. He is a great guy and deserves some respect. Please take my word on that if you don't think that is true.
Not sure if I have said all i wanted to say, or even if i said it clearly.
Good luck all, I hope your lives go well, both former tribemates and enemies.
