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God damn it, I just found out about this. I knew ben from w80, then we fell apart and we didn't keep in touch. He was a great guy, always looking to help others, always planning different strategies, and always an honest person.

I am truly sorry to hear this, and I hope he is in a better place now. Rest in peace ben!



What do we say to the people we love? What do we do in the moment when we want to express the most but can't acknowledge the truth.

A wedding in the night and wonder if love "said" was love meant to be, or If chance and circumstance was responsible for something else to be. Was happenstance to blame or is there such a thing called fate.

I recently had a friend die and wrote a brief acknowledgement to him tonight. I think this is why I write.

We all have dreams and I have dreamed quit a bit. I have dreamed of being free and ending up in the ever ending sea.

What do we do if we can't rhyme to the this never ending chime.

I have slept and dreamed and dared to think of a time , when expression was the least important subject of the hive but now I see and want to believe.

God is hard to understand. But he loves us and he must have a plan. So I say to all of those who are suffering like me: The LORD is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. The righteous person may have many troubles, but he LORD delivers him from them all.

God bless all. God help us all. God forgive me for my imperfect speech. God I love thee.
Sent from my iPhone

Psalm 34:18-19
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
19 The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all;


You have been missed and continue to be missed. I can say with confidence that I truly knew you. Integrity was defined by you, and truth was you. I always considered you a friend.

I will never forget you and will always hold you in my heart. I can say with absolute certainty you will be missed. Now you are in a better place and God holds you in his kingdom. I love you forever a few always.




Ben you were one of the best players i ever got to play against and not a bad guy either.
Rest in peace
p.s fake the angles buddy

Fleezus Clyde

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Wow..... it's hard to fathom that it's been over a year since we last spoke. Logging in and seeing October 4th had me thinking of nothing but you. It seems only yesterday you were schooling me in both life & TW and I never got the chance to properly thank you for all you did for me.

I want you to know that I miss you buddy - and that you made me a better man and your memory continually challenges me to be a better person. I also want you to know that I do everything I can to remember the good times we had together & I will do everything possible to preserve those memories. I remember most importantly that you were there for me when no one else was in a very turbulent time & it really hurts so much that I wasn't able to repay you when you needed me most. You were a true and genuine friend Ben; and those are hard to come by & harder to lose.

I'm sorry I didn't post something when this initially happened.... it honestly just really rocked me man. For the longest time I couldn't even look at the world or forums without crying. The shame and pain I feel for not being able to carry on your memory on w80 will probably never go away & not for one second will I pretend to take any credit for bens recent revival; it's also why I can't rejoin as I don't deserve credit. But to those of you from the tribe reading this that are still fighting on in his memory; I have the deepest & utmost respect for you and I want you to know that I am rooting for you so hard to win. YOU WIN IT FOR BEN <3

Not a day goes by that I don't wish things could be different. I am so sorry you did what you did and that I was powerless to stop you. I know you wouldn't want anyone to blame themselves, as that's not the person you are; and I don't - but it doesn't take away from the pain of your loss. I will never have a friend like you again - and I will never forget you man. I really miss you dude.

I know you can't reply - so I won't drabble on too long but I hope you know that you aren't forgotten and never will be. The world really lost a beautiful mind and a kind soul in you Ben, and I hope you know how deeply missed you are.

Rest Easy Friend & one day I will see you again <3

To anyone thinking of suicide - please read this post & the many before it. See how deeply Ben's actions hurt others and while no one but you can ever know how much you are suffering, I can promise you if you stay patient & hopeful; things will get better. I myself have been that low believe me and you may not realize it but your actions will have a ripple effect - you are not eliminating your pain; but passing it to those who care most about you. I'm not going to call suicide a selfish act; because I've felt that low myself and I know that it's a lot more complicated than that; but also you owe it to yourself to fight for life. And if you are asking yourself why - maybe you should try asking why not. Remember things can always get better; but you can never reverse a death.

For anyone in crisis:

To anyone who's just depressed or has other mental ailments; let's talk. You have nothing to be ashamed of and you owe it to yourself to try to get better (because you can get better!!!). I'm not saying persay talk to me personally (although you are all more than welcome to via Skype [kingwithoutathrone11], even past foes of mine; we are all in the same tribe on this issue!) but there are resources available around you I garuntee it; take advantage of them. Only you can let others help you. For a longtime I didn't let others help me; I was stubborn and churlish and I am so glad that I now see things differently. I hope you are able to do the same :)

Here is a great free & anonymous online therapy tool you can use if you ever just need someone to talk to:

They are trained therapists you will be speaking with & it is fully confidential!

I won't be posting on this forum anymore, but Ben deserved a proper commemoration & I really hope we never have to mourn another member of our community in this manner ever again.

Chris out.

Fleezus Clyde

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Today (the 19th) Ben would have been 25... it's now been well over a year since but I still miss you like mad man :( I won't ever forget the loyal friend you were. If there's an afterlife and you're reading this,

Happy Birthday Bro, I know the world wasn't fair to you and took you away from us too soon, but you won't be forgotten. I will be toasting in your honor tonight & I really hope you found peace brother; because if anyone deserves peace it's you

I feel a little silly writing these knowing you can't reply but if you can see them I hope you know how much you are deeply missed :(

Fleezus Clyde

Forum Personality 2017
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I know it's a random asf day... but I just wanted to say I'm thinking of you buddy up in heaven & that you're never forgotten & your legacy will never die <3