Flaming is hostility sans content or relevance. Flaming is inflammatory, vicious, gratuitously nasty, malicious, spiteful diatribe. Flaming is not only bullying manipulative provocation against the target, but also manipulative intimidation and aversion more widely, for the purpose of online Relational Bullying, Truth Suppression by sabotage against pointed controversy. One way or another, unpleasant conversation often consists of demeaning disrespect, non responsive hostility and reprobation. Irrelevant invective derision and provocation or even explicit threats, generally sans pertinent content, are not appropriate, nor is the other extreme, touchy-feely Borg collectivity, peer pressure, consensus manipulation, and brown nosing, replete with humorless calculating over sensitivity, Paranoid "reading between the lines" or impugning intentions, bogus innocence abused, pointless picayune irritability, off topic trivial peeves, prudery, anal Netiquette, peer pressure, not to mention such classic cat-and-mouse maneuvers as flame baiting, which is the provocation of any exasperated off the cuff retort or perfectly ingenuous expression of irritation as any excuse for subsequently lashing out, flaming, whining, sulking, even censure or sanction.
And this also applies to passive hostility, as in stubborn non response or stonewalling against protest and/or the voicing of begged questions and even points of order. Indeed, on these forums, assent by persistent silence can then be assumed and thus sullen protest by silence dismissed. Only flaming itself deserves the cold shoulder.
No accommodation need be offered neither for abuse nor for calculating manipulative false fragility or grudge collecting, what so ever! For serious people with any sense of purpose what so ever, etiquette must advance the task, not the other way around. It’s all about freedom of speech, even to tell others that which they might not like to hear, while cleaving to fair play and good sportsmanship. Don’t make it personal, and don’t take it personal. And let the same standard apply to all, equally.