Hmmm, only read about half the first page but let me say whoever is trying this - Bad idea. If this member joins you they will never like you. If you force someone to join you out of fear, when they grow strong enough they will leave, and come back to destroy you.
You should have been strong in the first place to not let yourself be bullied. The really strong tribes don't accept refugees, but some others will. Just join the tribe threatening you, build up your army, and leave.
And Omnitank, I think your profile ingame is a perfect depiction of the common new player! (no offense CzarGarret.)
Join or die is a bad tactic. You may be able to find someone to help you wipe out the person saying that. It doesn't make for tribe cohesion at all.
As far as if you need to get into a tribe right away well the name is Tribal Wars so pretty much you do. I took my time and waited until close to when my protection ran out but to wait beyond that is not wise. Many of the top tribes do have training tribes and you could go for one of those or a medium tribe that is strong in your area.
This is the same take over tatic that formed the largest land empire in the quickest time historically. The mongols used this join or die tatic to conquer most of asia, the middle east and eastern europe in 3 generations. However I guess it probably doesn't lead to very loyal members, Just accept their invite, get strong, find a few players that got 'recruited' like you did and rebel (prefreably after they have kicked off a major campaign).